Cats Enjoy People Who Hate Them

So the trip to Key West went bunk and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the time off I set aside for vacation...and boy do I need a vacation. I'm taking one anyways, even if it means staying at home alone for a few days (while Taylor is out of town and at Lake Texoma...sorry, but hanging out on a boat at a lake in 100 degree heat while everyone around you gets shit faced drunk is not my idea of FUN right now...in fact, it sounds like HELL). I haven't taken any time off since December, when we went on that cruise. Since that cruise, literally since the day we returned, my life has been a circus.

Not a bad scary clown circus, but a circus none the less. Moving into a new house during an ice storm with no electricity, the holidays (which are stressful for most people!), finding out we were pregnant, Taylor getting a new job that requires him to work out of town a lot, finding out we lost the baby, recovering mentally and emotionally from losing the baby, going a little nuts from losing the baby and suffering a mild identity crisis while living in another city away from immediate family and close friends, completely gutting and renovating the entire downstairs floor of our new house, finding out we are pregnant again and spending the first trimester sick as shit for three months while living amongst the chaos of renovating our new house and having no kitchen....

I also "lost" a very close and dear friend of mine during all of that commotion, for stupid reasons that still baffle me. I think, despite my defensive and indifferent front, that has stressed me out a lot more than I like to believe and let on. I've cut loose friends in the past for being assholes, but this particular friend's exit from my life has hurt me more than any of the others ever have. But I've learned that you can't get sucked into other people's neurosis and you can't fall "victim" into allowing yourself to be a punching bag for other people's issues. Some people can't be helped or saved or reasoned with without making you a glutton for punishment on their behalf. It's not healthy. Some friendships just expire, and like with love relationships, "break ups" with people you are closest to HURT. It's unfortunate, but I really believe that the entire situation had a big affect on the way I view friendship and how many eggs I feel comfortable placing in anyone else's basket, so to speak. I wouldn't say I'm crippled and damaged, but definitely even more guarded and tentative...it has really made me reevaluate what (I believe) it means to be a "friend." One thing I've learned is to lower expectations...lower them waaaaay down. Whittle them down to next to nothing. Sometimes I guess you have to or people will continually disappoint you, and that just creates unwanted, unneeded stress....and who needs more stress?

I think some people get mistaken into thinking that just because people get married and try to start a family and kick "domestic" life into full swing, their worlds become all peaches and cream and sunshine 24/7...like their stress factor becomes anything less important or significant than theirs might be. Stress doesn't discriminate and it is distributed equally for everyone in different forms. Stress never goes away, it just evolves and turns into new kinds of stress. How we handle it and grow to adapt to how we deal with it makes all the difference.

Shoving all of that brain clutter of mine aside, I've been making an extra big effort to try to deflect stress from my world and I'm really trying not to let anything bring me down. I think of it as "cleaning house." Now is not the time to dwell on negativity and sweat the small stuff, but it can be quite an internal struggle for someone who is hard-wired to sweat the small stuff and dwell on cynicism. Old habits die hard, but I firmly believe that my attitude and vibe and well-being and ability to filter out the bullshit that comes at me has an impact on how my baby will be hard-wired. Every second of every day, I'm working to keep light of situations. I'm learning to recycle the "noise" and "garbage" and walk away having gained better insight, adamantly trying avoid anything that might upset me. It's really so amazing what someone whom you haven't even met yet can do to enrich and better your life. When I start to feel anxious and up in arms, I just meditate on Taylor's and my little "gift" and focus on all that is good in my life. No thing and no one else matters.

Posted by Meika at 1:17 PM    

I found myself immersed in an interesting conversation the other evening, while stuffing wedding invitations for my best friend. It's interesting the kind of chatter that comes about when you get a group of women together who don't know one another all that well.

It's foreign territory for me~ I rarely find myself socializing with more than one or two females- and when I do, those females are pretty much always my best friends- that is, of course, unless there is drinking involved.

It's once in a blue moon that it is a gathering of sober females and sober conversation... and the curious thing was that I don't believe the group of females I was sitting with individually do it often either- sober or not, I believe this group to have been a group that, like me, rarely finds themselves in groups of other women to chat.

Anyways, the conversation somehow come about to a "discussion" about Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston...a debate that I've noticed always divides certain kinds of women from one another: it's always particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Aniston" and particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Jolie." Although I love Jennifer Aniston on "Friends," I personally am an Angelina fan. Jennifer Aniston is OK, but I think she's plain and boring and one-dimensional as anything other than playing Rachel Green. She's a romantic comedy princess...and I'm not a romantic comedy kind of girl. YAWN.

Angelina is interesting and aggressive and edgy. She makes action movies and films that are more mysterious and exciting...thus, making her more mysterious and exciting and complicated. She's an action heroine. Jennifer Aniston could NEVER have pulled off sociopath Lisa in "Girl Interrupted." And that sums up why I prefer Angelina to Jennifer. I prefer eccentrics and outcasts over your run of the mill cookie cutters any day.

But I don't really see any celebrity as actual human beings or people. They are as fictitious to me as they characters they portray in movies or on TV. No one, besides their immediate spouses, friends, family and personal acquaintances, actually knows what kind of people celebrities really are...and it's hilarious when I hear people talk about them like they do.

My mother does this with Angelina Jolie. My brother and I call her "Team Jolie" because she just thinks she's the most interesting, beautiful, exotic, awesome celebrity in the world. She loves her philanthropic work and her choice to adopt children, among other things. She doesn't see her as the bitch that stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, America's Sweetheart.

One of the "Team Anistons" at the wedding invitation stuffing gathering insisted that Jennifer Aniston is "such a sweetheart" and that Angelina Jolie is a home wrecker. Most of the other "Team Anistons" agreed whole heartedly. I always find this perspective to be amusing, because the chicks who always side with Aniston talk as if she is one of their girlfriends, and seem to take the entire Jennfier/Brad/Angelina thing so personally.

As if they spent nights consoling poor Jennifer during her split from Brad and personally have experienced her All-American "sweetness." How does anyone really know if Jennifer Aniston is the sweetheart that the media paints her to be? Maybe she's a huge pain in the ass bitch in real-life. Maybe she is so utterly lacking in personality that Brad got so incredibly bored with the mundane life he'd gotten himself into that he was about to lose his mind if he didn't find something more stimulating and fulfilling.

Strictly on the surface, he got a hell of a lot more interesting once he got together with Angelina, that's for sure. He went from glitzy pretty boy Hollywood cookie cutter with Aniston to globe trotting, philanthropic attempting-to-better-the-world with his fame father of internationally adopted children with Jolie. It looks to me like he want more in life than just walking the red carpet and playing Ken and Barbie.

Who knows. All I know is that it takes two to tango, two to make a relationship work or fail. And not only that, but who fucking cares? Angelina, Brad and Jennifer are all mythological creatures who exist on the silver screen. They aren't even real.

Posted by Meika at 8:08 AM    

Thinking today about personal style and I how I am going to adjust my wardrobe to accommodate my progressively expanding preggo bod. I don't believe it's going to be as big of a transition as I thought it might be however. I have never been into clingy revealing clothing as it is, mind the occasional tight baby t-shirt or butt-hugging jeans when feeling extra sassy for a night out.

I'm finding myself adjusting to my growing tummy quite nicely considering I've always preferred the flowy, mid-drift hiding tops anyways. My mid-section has never been my most flattering area, obviously. I blame it on my addiction to white rice and avid refusal to do partake in stomach toning physical activity. It has always been worth the sacrifice, in my opinion, to enjoy my white rice and absence of stress from worry of having toned abs. I had other assets to work in my favor that didn't really require me to try and there is nothing that a little strategic clothing choices couldn't hide.

But it is quite unnerving to realize that the one part of your body you have always been the most self-conscious about in the first place has now become the focal point of your entire physical existence...and people want to come up and poke and touch it. This is frustrating and makes me want to swipe at them like an angry cat.

A) Because I don't believe that pregnancy makes a woman suddenly public property
B) Most of my "bump" is just a protective layer of fat (PLOF) that has developed to keep my little fetus safe until it actually grows bigger than a shrimp or lime or whatever food item BabyCenter.com wants to call it right now.

I'm happy with the sundresses I've been wearing. They do a most excellent job of making my PLOF look more like a cute little baby bump (which IS there, but slowly peeking out from the PLOF) than just a gut. In fact, that's ALL I care to wear. I'm only at the end of my first trimester and I've only worn pants once in the last 3 weeks. I just may never wear them again.

I'm really working on establishing an artillery of clothing that does not require me to wear pants for as long as humanly possible, and also reviving my collection of accessories, which to me is the most important part of any wardrobe anyways. I LOVE my accessories...especially my sunglasses. I think that a woman's sunglasses are some of the most important investments she can have in regards to what she wears.

I mean, if my face is inevitably going to get round and go "moon pie" (as my mother calls it) with pregnancy weight gain, then damn it, I'm going to make sure that I have some kick ass eye wear to make sure it is cute.

I've never been one for designer labels...but I must admit that I am a pretentious eye wear snob. I think that comes with the territory though, after spending 5 years managing a Sunglass Hut and selling designer sunglasses. Once you've owned a pair of Prada or Versace or Ray Bans or Maui Jims...well, you just don't go back.

You could wear an outfit consisting of items straight off of bargain racks (which is the first place I zero in on in a store) and give it a whole new life with a sweet pair of designer shades...and on the flip side, you could wear all the designer labels you want on your body, but if you are sporting cheap, knock of sunglasses the outfit immediately is WACK.

I'm sorry, but cheap knock off sunglasses are one of my biggest pet peeves and I hate the excuse of, "Oh, I'm not spending that much on a pair of sunglasses that I am just going to break or lose." How about you just take care of your shit instead?

Hello! It's your FACE- that's the most important part of your body. What you wear everywhere else is just an afterthought if you ask me. Designer sunglasses are the one item that you can get away with wearing with everything you own, because they can go with everything you own.

Not only that, but wearing crappy cheapos can fuck up your eyes- think about it. You get one set of eyeballs...your tools for VISION. Why would you want to look around through cheap plastic lenses that aren't even optically correct, therefore slowly distorting your eyesight over the years and causing you to have to prematurely wear bifocals because you were too cheap to invest in quality eye wear in your younger days?

People need to get a clue. As someone who has worn glasses since I was 7, I can appreciate protecting my baby browns as best I can, since I already can't see for shit without the help of contacts and spectacles.

I'm getting a pair of Burberrys tomorrow and I'm SO excited. It's like getting a new pet!

Posted by Meika at 8:56 AM    

I've had way too much down time today at work, giving me extra time to catch up on my reading.

Earlier this week I read that California (tentative, really, until November) is now currently legally marrying gays and lesbians. I think that is great. I am particularly sensitive to this subject considering one of my sister in-laws is a lesbian and has a life partner whom I am very fond of. I would love nothing more than to see more progress for them and their ability to be recognized as equal citizens in this country in every way- especially LOVE.

I don't understand why some people believe that they have the right to go around preaching that the "sanctity of marriage" will be destroyed if gay people should be able to marry...considering that straight people in this country have been working diligently to tarnish that definition for years. The divorce rate in this country is a flippin' joke and it amazes me the hypocrisy of so many who commit adultery and who have treated marriage like some sort of disposable luxury to try on and discard as they please.

I guess I just get pissed when I see people like John McCain trying to sit on a high horse of morality when it comes to family values, when his own family values and politics are so ass backwards and hypocritical.

I mean, in my book, a man who cheats on and leaves his wife for a another woman (a wealthy woman 17 years his junior at that) is nothing but a huge scumbag ...and that goes visa versa for women who cheat on their husbands, by the way...and then, even slimier, in true politician form, tries to make it "ok" by admitting to have been entirely at fault for the whole thing, as if that changes anything.

I don't believe that an adulterer can legitimately enforce "traditional marriage" as if he is in any way in a position to be dictating moral authority.

Read all about his "family values" in the links below- then remember them the next time he speaks of the "sanctity of marriage."

Traditional Marriage.

McCain's Marriage History.

Posted by Meika at 9:22 AM    

Everyone keeps asking me, "Are you craving anything special now that you are pregnant?"

Oh yes. Yes I am. I am craving, like a ravenous starving animal, HOME COOKED MEALS. I don't care what it is, so long as it comes off a pan or out of a pot from someone's stove top. Or even a frozen pizza from someone's oven. Leftovers from someone else's previously cooked home cooked meal, a grilled cheese sandwich, even Ramen fucking noodles...I don't care. It doesn't have to be fancy. Even a simple pot of white rice would suffice. I want to walk into a kitchen and smell food cooking. I want to grocery shop for all of the meals I will make for the week. I want to come home from work and make dinner the way that I want it!

It's been 2 and a half months now since breaking ground on our house remodel, and I am about to lose my fucking mind from having no kitchen. No living room, I can handle. But no kitchen? It has been the most inconvenient, pain in the ass, eye-opening experience of my domestic life as a wife...and as a girlfriend, individual and overall human being. I was OK throughout the first month or so...then voila!

I am pregnant and food has become the center of the world in which I exist...being nauseated is worse when your only options for food is take out...which has officially become disgusting and utterly unacceptable to me.

For the ladies out there who choose both not to cook for themselves and for their significant other, I am shaking my head. I am confused, because I have learned that, while having no kitchen access for the first time in my life, the only alternative to not cooking your own food is to GO TAKE OUT. WHY would anyone, on a daily basis, voluntarily pay to ingest rehydrated frozen meat patties and other ingredients all shipped in bulk, doused and dipped in grease and slid down an assembly line?

BARF BARF and MORE BARF. How people are satisfied with surviving off of generic meals made to order on a day to day basis just baffles the hell out of me. Even- especially- sit-down restaurant food. It's all "cooked" and prepared by strangers with their mystery germs and habits and kitchen heat sweat handling what you are going to put in your mouth...(DRY HEAVE).

I can't take it anymore! Even carefully selecting the "healthiest" options on any given menu is still just the lesser of the same evil. I would sooner not eat than have to spend one more penny on take out. I can feel what that food is doing to my body and how it is affecting me. NONE of it sounds even remotely appetizing- it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I have had "morning sickness" for the past four weeks straight, but I think that it is mostly a product of what I have been forced to consume. My body isn't used to eating CRAP every day- and although I have a very robust appetite, I am a pretty healthy eater for the most part.

Perhaps this is because I grew up in a household where there was always a home cooked meal on the table, even if it was just mac and cheese with fish sticks and a can of peas(on evenings when mom was particularly tired). Mom was a workaholic, highly decorated military administrator who got up for work at 5 a.m. every day, came home around 6 p.m. or later, once a month clocked 14 straight days with no day off (UTA weekends on base) and STILL managed to always cook my brother and I nutritious, well-balanced meals at the end of the day.

Eating fast food or going out to a restaurant was a rarity in my household- a TREAT reserved for special occasions only a couple of times a year.

Yes, I am bragging on my mamasan- but she more than deserves it. I have more appreciation for her and her dedication to putting food made with love on the table than I ever have before. I am even more convinced that I have the greatest mother on the planet. Her face should be painted onto cathedrals, she should be hoisted onto a golden throne and fanned by the wings of angels for what she does. GOD I would kill to be in her kitchen right now, watching her slice and dice and chop and mix and work her magic on the stove...

I know that if Taylor and I lived in Norman, or if she lived in City, while all of this is going on, she would have us over every single evening to eat home cooked dinners. We have been going down to Norman once a week and those evenings have seriously become the saving grace and highlight of my life. Knowing that I get to eat mom's food is what keeps me going all week.

Call me a brat, but I am disappointed that in the almost 3 months since of being kitchenless, Taylor and I have not been invited over for more home cooked meals by the people in our life (although I do appreciate the very few who have and have been consistent about it!). I would do it for them in a heart beat...but then again, I actually enjoy cooking and feeding people. I am learning that not everyone shares that interest. I guess this is because the majority of people that we know don't cook like I do and that makes me sad. What a waste of perfectly good kitchens all over the land.

I went to a set of in-law's house the other night, armed with a box of macaroni and cheese. They aggressively tried to sway me into joining them in going to a Mexican restaurant (which I do appreciate the invite always!), but I just couldn't do it. I was about to cry I wanted that box of mac and cheese so badly I was shaking,

"Just please, for the love of GOD let me make and eat this 69 cent box of macaroni! It's the only thing on this Earth that I will eat right now!"

They never use their kitchen, so it helps that they live up the street for me to come and crash it every now and then- put it to use until I get my own back.

This will all be worth it in the long run, I know. Supposedly we only have another 2 weeks or so until the kitchen will be up and running...and when that happens, we have made a pact to not eat out again for the rest of the year...maybe EVER.

I know that once the baby comes my life will be more hectic, but if my mom could pull off the amazing feat as a wife and mother that is cooking for her family on a daily basis, I know that I will be able to too!

Posted by Meika at 1:48 PM    

Each semester, including summer session, I have to study and break down the demographics for the university that I work at for press releases announcing enrollment trends.

It sounds boring, but it really isn't. I think it's kind of interesting- especially when you start noticing trends within gender, race and age.

For example, I believe that by now the entire country is aware of the fact that women outnumber men in their numbers of full-time enrolled college/university students, and college/university graduates. Yes, folks. This means that more women than men are going to college. This means that the majority of the female American population is in fact smarter and more educated than American men.

It has been a consistent trend over the past 10 years, not just in Oklahoma, but nationally. Almost twice as many females as males attend university and graduate with a 4-year degree. My institution alone is 63%/36% women/men, and it hasn't really budged an inch in difference since 2004. That's just in 4 years. Think about how huge that difference has become since, oh, the early 1900s...before women could even vote for her president.

What's even more interesting, and disheartening, is that even with this overwhelmingly large gap of women choosing to pursue higher education over men, females are still only making about 77 CENTS TO THE DOLLAR of what a man makes in the work force.

There are statistically more college educated women going out into professional careers, yet we still have a pathetically large gap in our wages. How sad is that? I've heard some douche bag guys comment on how that gap has come such a long ways and how women should be happy with our "progress"...

Really? So we should be satisfied to be called equal citizens but get paid significantly less than a man doing the same work? In what delusional world does that work?

By the way, for anyone who isn't aware, Obama seems to be the only presidential candidate (now that Hilary is out of course) who seems concerned at all about women's issues, such as equal pay for women, the freedom to rule over own bodies and other RELEVANT ISSUES THAT AFFECT WOMEN EVERY DAY.

He is also the one who has actually made improving women's issues an issue of his campaign. If you have a vagina and/or care about the future of your future/existing daughters, read HERE.

His opponent, John McCain (Old Man Withers as I like to call him) is,

..."offering independent and Democratic women the unconventional pitch that his policy prescriptions for economic, health-care and environmental issues trump such traditional issues as equal pay, abortion rights and contraception coverage."

This appeasing bullshit to me says that the man isn't concerned enough about women's issues to squeeze any aspect of it into his campaign...leaving him "free" not to touch the issues in a way that overtly say what he really means, "Your concerns as a woman are not important and I don't care to take the time or effort to go there."

...."Except I WILL work to overturn Roe vs. Wade and keep your wage gap wide open." <- (OK, so he didn't actually say that, but that's what he intends to do, minus the blatant wage gap part...but avoiding the issue completely is saying precisely that!).

He's that old white man politician from a cob webbed, dusty old generation where women's issues, civil rights and equal rights were at one time scoffed at and resisted by a large chunk of his demographic. Looks to me like his old ass is still living in an era where the "little woman" should be at home making babies, cleaning house and keeping her mouth shut.

Read more about what Old Man Withers has to say about such topics in the following article:

Obama/McCain Women's Issues.

Perhaps the startling realities of gender, college education and wage earnings are what is causing the decline in the number of men choosing to go to college...

Maybe more and more of them are discovering that if they have half a brain and some ambition/motivation, they don't even need to go to college to go out into the real world and get a good paying job. Maybe they are figuring out that they will STILL get paid more money than a woman applying for the same position, so why bother enduring the time, effort and hassle of pursuing higher education?

Maybe if the tables were turned, and suddenly THEY were the ones getting paid less for the same work, they might feel more inclined to excel at university so that they feel more confident in their chances of getting a good paying job should they be put in the position to contend with the opposite gender who holds an advantage because of the junk they were born with.

Perhaps enough of them (particularly white men) are confident in the fact that since the birth of this nation, their commander in chief has always been "one of them" and is on their team, so they don't feel as if they have to compete with women for jobs or be concerned about making anything less than SIGNIFICANTLY MORE than what the other gender or races gets paid...

...then again, most college guys don't enroll in courses that would school them on this kind of information, and the majority of them as far as I know don't care to actively pursue this kind of information...and the information isn't exactly out there for everyone to be forced to acknowledge like it should be...so when they hear it from someone like me, they feel threatened and go on the defense and see me as some kind of "Feminazi" radical who likes to bash men, when in all reality, what does it hurt them to know the truth? They have mothers and sisters and daughters and girlfriends and females friends that they care about, so you'd think they'd take it seriously.

...but then again, if less and less guys are going to college, the chances of them learning this information gets even slimmer, so most guys are most likely just ignorant to women's issues anyways- and choose to put their ear muffs on when people like me talk about it so that they may remain happily out of the loop.

I don't know. This is all just speculation. It isn't man hating or men bashing or "feminazi" ranting...it is just a woman with a college degree, out in the workforce, wondering the ways of the world that she lives in and speculating on the facts and issues that affect her life and that of her unborn daughters...mentally chewing on facts and issues which can not be denied and should not be swept under a rug....

Posted by Meika at 1:18 PM    

How cute is THIS:



A little deer with a single horn in the middle of its head has been discovered in Italy...and it has been nick named "Unicorn." Um, is it just me or could they have been a little more creative? I mean, obviously it embodies the mythological unicorn creature's defining characteristic...and that's the point. It's like naming a cat "Kitty." A little redundant if you ask me.

And this is UNICORN territory we're talking about here, people. That's serious business.

If I had a little deer with a unicorn horn I would name it something like Moonstone or Powder, via My Little Pony (surely some of you also had the My Little Pony unicorns?!).

I guess this little guy is a deer, and not a horse- but still. Little discoveries like this unicorn deer keep me young in believing that there are magical things out there to spark imaginations.

Posted by Meika at 2:15 PM    

...a plate of macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with gravy. No meat. No veggies. Just carbolicious goodness. I am thinking that I could eat this meal every day for the next 7 or so months. My baby is going to be born craving macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes from the womb.

By the way, for those who do not know yet, I am pregnant. It feels good to finally let that cat out of the bag without fear of having to grab it by its tail and yank it back into said bag.

We went and got our first ultrasound for this pregnancy last week, and much to our relief, the little Taylor Tot has a nice strong heartbeat...my world has become a happier, brighter, amazing place to be.

I am vowing not to bitch and complain about any remote aspect of my pregnancy. I might make observations and note sentiments as they come, but I keep reminding myself of how fortunate I am to be carrying this baby.

I'm also not going to let myself turn this blog into the "baby blog," although I'm sure there will be plenty to note and discuss as I venture further down this pregnant road.

One thing, for example, is how much more Taylor and I are starting to notice and take notes on the misbehavior of small children in restaurants. I am amazed at how many parents refuse to control their children in public places.

My friend Brian at work believes this to be because too many parents these days go out of their way to make their kids feel as if they are the world's most "special snowflakes" who are incapable of doing anything wrong- therefore, too many screaming, undisciplined brats are running ramped in a restaurant near you.

I pointed this out to a coworker today at an office lunch at Old Chicago pizza. She laughed and said that when her daughter was young, she and a bunch of other mothers would take their tribe of small children out to eat and let them roam free to have "fun" and move around...and that it was funny how it seemed like so many of them wound up going out of business soon after.

???? Funny? I think not. She was THAT lady.

I see a lot of parents who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk...and even when they talk the talk they don't really MEAN it. It's more of a, "Billy, NO. Don't do that. Anyways, so like I was saying...blah blah blah" while Billy and his sister are running laps around the table, crawling under chairs and bringing surrounding patrons that much closer to slapping a stranger's child.

We heard a kid in the restaurant scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to his mother, followed by the kind of wailing and howling that could quite possibly drive one to insanity if exposed for too long.

My mom used to let me get away that kind of temper tantrum throwing when I was little. My aunts still tease me about it. I don't remember that though...all I remember is the gut feeling of terror of pissing my dad off in the same scenario and being the most behaved small person to ever grace a booster seat.

That's what kids need. Note to self: Dad's strategy worked the best.

Posted by Meika at 12:11 PM