Friday, April 4, 2008

Fugly Bridesmaid Regalia

Although I've been lucky and have escaped the stigma of the ugly bridesmaid dress, I've witnessed and heard about some brutally nasty ones.

The idea of being forced into a hideous dress while standing in front of an enormous congregation of people is just about one of the most awful things I can imagine (right up there with getting stuck in an elevator with a full bladder, having to listen to Hinder or Fergie for hours on end).

I did my best to save my bridesmaids from public humiliation at my own wedding, and I know my BFF, who is getting married later this year and has made me her Maid of Honor, will do the same for me.

Because we like one another. A true friend would never let her girlfriend suffer the utter turmoil that is having to wear a fugly dress.

I went to a wedding once a few years ago during Christmas time, and much to my sheer delight/horror (I couldn't decide if I wanted to die laughing or puke in my purse), marching down the aisle comes four bridesmaids adorned in Mrs. Claus dresses, almost identical to the ones below, but more form fitting:

Photobucket

How does one smile while draped in a red velor clownsuit trimmed with white faux fur?

You know those bridesmaids have got to be standing there, gritting their teeth, thinking, "You ASSHOLE. I hate you."

I'm afraid I would have to just drink myself into oblivion at the reception so that I might forget what I have on. I would also have to embarrass the hell out of my bitch ass friend who put me in it in the first place.

This is where a, "I remember how in high school how you blew half of the basketball team during that semester you were strung out on speed...gosh those were crazy times. (insert name of groom) sure did make an honest woman out of you! Cheers!"
toast, made sure to be announced in front of her mom and dad's uppity work friends and business associates.

The bride at the wedding I went to was stunning of course~ I'm talking, she actually looked like a real princess or Miss America or something.

But thinking back now, I can't decide if she can take 100% of the credit for being so gorgeous. I mean, next to those "buffer" dresses, a drag queen could make people go "Awwwwwwwww....she looks STUNNING!"

I was distracted during the majority of the ceremony, trying to figure out what in the hell that bride was thinking when she picked them out. It was baffling.

My husband was an usher, so I sat with some of his friends, trying not to let the snickers fly. I was relieved that none of my girlfriends were there with me or we surely would have been escorted out of that church (and why is it that just being in a church makes things funnier? This is one of the reasons I don't allow myself in church...I can't handle the pressure of not laughing and not judging).

I wanted to interview one of the bridesmaids at the reception- mic in hand- as if I were on a red carpet reporting live for "E!":

"So- this is an interesting piece. Who's the designer? What is that fabulous material, polyester? Or a blend perhaps? How do you REALLY feel about it? It's ok. You can tell me."

I think I might have actually had a nightmare since then of me in one of those dresses, chasing after the bride who made me wear it with a baseball bat...

Here a link to more ugly dresses to enjoy not having to wear.

Ugly Dresses.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Killer Bees and Worker Bees

I watched Kill Bill Vol. 2 last night (I love ’em both), and the "Superman" dialogue between Bill and Beatrix Kiddo/Black Mamba really speaks volumes.

I love super hero and villainous things as it is, but this dialogue really broke down the underlying appeal of it all to me.

Bill says that there are killer bees and there are worker bees...in this big bee hive world we live in, I would sooner die young than simply be a worker bee forever. I want to be a killer renegade bee. The super hero/alter ego explanation is stellar~ I like to believe that the me who goes to my Desk Monkey job all day is just my alter ego...and the me that I really am at heart is the Super Hero, not the other way around.
Watch the video and listen closely- perhaps it will inspire and speak to you too:) This dialogue makes me want to conquer the fucking WORLD.

I suppose this might indicate that I believe myself to have some sort of super human powers...

I do, by the way.





Tuesday, April 1, 2008

"21"

Saw "21" last night. It was much like I expected it to be, but I did come to several conclusions after watching it:

1.) Jim Sturgess, the main guy "Ben" is super super cute....or super DUPER cute. I can’t decide if I think he is hot or not, but he definitely has his hot moments (when he is not busy being super duper cute). This brings me to my next conclusion.

Here he is: My newest celebrity boyfriend. And he's British. I will try to forget that he was in the awful Beatles musical who used Bono as Dr. Roberts.
Photobucket

2.) There is something super hot, to me at least, about a guy sitting at a card table...and not just any Vegas-going guy at a card table...I am talking about the serious kind of guy who is there to get down to business, not gamble. Perhaps my thinking this is a result of Taylor and my many years of competing with poker as his girlfriend. Either way, I like a guy who is not only serious about what he does, but is good at it too. Smart guys are hot. Few hot guys are smart, but when you find a smart guy who is hot, his hotness is just off the charts attractive. Um, what was my point? Oh yes, Jim Sturgess pulled off the hot smart guy thing quite nicely. Me likey.

3.) I love Kevin Spacey. Period.

4.)I’m disappointed that the makers of the movie "21" chose not to be accurate and go by the book it was based on, "Bringing Down the House." The real-life MIT guys who actually pulled the Vegas stunt off were ASIAN AMERICAN guys. Not a cute white boy, not a generically attractive blond girl (whom in the movie, I could have done without the romance subplot...). The movie makers threw in a couple of "token" Asian characters to make the card counting team more believably "brainy," but failed to give them any dimension as characters OR real speaking parts. Tisk, tisk movie makers. What "artists" will sacrifice in their work for GREEN GREEN GREEN and drawing in the masses. I am imagining all of the talented Asian American actors out there who were cut out of the opportunity to real-life Asian characters of an interesting story. Had the movie included the guys from "Better Luck Tomorrow" the movie would have been way more convincing and realistic...I mean, part of the whole reason that the MIT guys got away with their card counting heist is because they used their ethnic stereotypes to pull it off...

5.) BUT, I really enjoyed watching Jim Sturgess. So I will forgive them I guess, for the sake of eye candy. I wish that the movie would have given the role of the brainy card counting team member/love interest to the Asian girl instead of Kate Bosworth (too skinny, too generic, way too boring and dry and uninteresting)...you know, considering that it might be nice to give a lead role to an Asian girl that doesn’t require her in kimono or samurai sword slinging kung fu fighting nail salon fortune cookie English speaking subordinate concubine. Asian girls like cute boys too and also get to date them, but American movie makers never seem to understand that. Hollywood still has a LONG way to go. Until they decide to be more progressive, Asian American movie goers will continue to have to accept the fact that American movies don't like to give romantic leads to us unless we are sporting kimonos and slinging samurai swords.

* But I will happily accept more cute British imports such as Jim Sturgess.

the end.

Dear Taco Bell

Dear Taco Bell,

I have beef with you- and I’m not talking about the mystery meat "beef" that you load into your creatively named Tex-Mex products (despite what you may beg to differ, there is no f’ing way that your so-called meat was ever a living, breathing animal...it’s far too rank and stanky and disturbingly raunchy to have come from something organic).

I have a real problem with your advocation of the "4th Meal" in the American diet. Who in the hell gave you the authority to christen your meals as the fourth meal of the day? What ever gave you the idea that it is even a good idea to insert a "4th Meal" into our diets, considering it is apparent that Americans have a difficult enough time balancing 3 meals in a day?

Are you aware of what exactly your food does to people who eat your "4th Meal" during the designated "after dinner, before breakfast" hours?

Do you have any idea how dreadfully painful it is to wake up literally feeling that "4th Meal" bubbling and fermenting in the guts of someone who was duped into believing that Tex-Mex fast food consumption between dinner and breakfast might not be a bad idea? What exactly do you DO to your products to make them so freakishly generic and sickening?

Before last night, I had not eaten your food in at least a year or two- and even back then it was usually due to intoxication and the fact that you are the only one open late enough to offer food to the drunk and unstable...(because at that point of the night, human beings will eat just about anything with cheese on it, regardless of whether or not it should come with some sort of "toxic" warning label. You obviously caught wind of this because you are serving road kill and disguising it with clever names like CHALUPA).

I know that you target the weak and vulnerable...drunk high school and college students whose asses you efficiently contribute to packin’ on those infamous "freshman 15" and acne problems...but what about the rest of us who are no longer immune to waking up feeling like shit?

Do you realize that you are no better than McDonald’s when it comes to fattening the asses of Americans? People always want to scrutinize McDonald’s, but YOU are the ones deciding to add an entire new meal category into our diet!

Last night I took a chance with you, Taco Bell, while sober, after a long day of packing and moving my house. You were a quick solution to a massive hunger attack. Although I was hesitant, fully aware of what your food does, I took a chance. Low and behold, sure enough, I woke up feeling disgusting and nasty, as if I’d gobbled down a gallon of garbage the night before, cursing your wretched faux Tex-Mex nightmare.

Why did I even eat it in the first place if I knew what was going to happen? I blame your evil marketing strategies. Damn you, they worked on me. You must be incredibly proud of yourself. Satan himself must sit at the head of your executive table...that is, when he is not busy with McDonald’s. Be sure to give him the collective souls of all who obediently consumed your "4th Meal" and are paying for it today.

Also, I am curious as to why your employees always appear to be fresh off the crack pipe, with your Taco Bell "4th Meal" grease permeating the flesh of their tweaked out grills. Are they the only ones capable of burning the midnight oil so that your ass fattening creations may better give us all the bubble guts first thing the next morning?

Boooo, Taco Bell. Booooo.

Sincerely,

You suck and I hate you

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Sally Kern is an A-Hole

I believe that Kern is an ignorant bible beating old Cronie who is so out of tune with the "average American" that she might as well be living in a fucking cave.

It is so embarrassing to our state and to those of us who live here for her to proclaim that her delusional views represent the "average American." What she means is that she represents your average right-wing bible beating cronie American whose mindset is so behind on the times that they fail to recognize that homosexuality has ALWAYS existed in human culture- and every culture all over the world since the beginning of time- and that the culture we live in right now is NOT the same culture that Americans lived in 200 years ago.

Being able to be open about who you are and accepted as a human being is called social progress! It’s called social evolution! White Protestant men are not the only people with civil rights and liberties anymore. If we still existed in the same culture as we did 200 years ago (as Kern has stated she wants to see it be), that bitch wouldn’t even be sitting on her high horse as any kind of representative of the people...her ass would be at home chained to a kitchen stove, churning butter, wearing a bonnet and getting slapped around by her husband for having any kind of opinion because it was still "God’s word" to beat your wife.

KERN: "I wasn’t saying that you guys were a cancer," the legislator says to Dr. Jones. "I was saying that the effect is the very same as a cancer. If God’s people do not stand up and proclaim God’s word, which teaches that homosexuality is a sin; and if we try to just ignore it and let it become mainstream and take on the mentality that you folks want, that it’s a normal lifestyle, then that is going to spread through our culture, and we will no longer have the same kind of culture we’ve had for over 200 years. That’s all I meant."

Are you KIDDING me? No wonder so many people in the rest of the country look at Oklahoma as some sort of backwoods state full of ignorant, uneducated hicks. Look what some of our "representatives" have to contribute to the world. Kern talks about how the agenda of homosexuality is to tear down the "bedrock foundation of our society- which is family and traditional marriage."

Family- most definitely. But the definition of family has evolved as well. If she is talking about the traditional nuclear family as the standard, that ship has long sailed. Traditional marriage is fab- I’m traditionally married- but it’s no longer the standard and only option anymore. It hasn’t been for a LONG time in regards to FAMILY- it’s just one of many lifestyles now- and there’s nothing wrong with anything that is not "traditional." There are adoptive families, same sex partner families, single friends who consider themselves families, unmarried families, BLENDED families...and blended families are the very product of divorce- something that was traditionally considered a "sin" by the church, am I right? If a gay couple wants to be wife and wife or husband and husband, so what? Traditional marriage standards in this country has already strayed beyond "repair." I believe that heterosexual American couples are the ones who have already accomplished destroying the bedrock foundation of our society- are they not the ones who have made the divorce rate in traditional marriages in this country a JOKE?

50 percent of all marriages in America end in divorce- HELLO. Those aren’t homosexual divorces tarnishing the "sanctity" of marriage. That is ALL heterosexual. Not to say that homosexuals wouldn’t be prone to divorce as well if they were able to marry, but hell, I don’t think they could do a whole lot worse than straight people have in partaking in that statistic.

As for the whole cancer thing- it’s interesting to me how people will claim to not be prejudice or sexist or racist or discriminatory in any way- yet they sneak in verbal vomit while dancing around their own point in an attempt to cover their asses in front of certain people- and at the heart of their point, underneath all of the smoke and mirrors, lies what they really are: prejudice assholes. Walking contradictions. HYPOCRITES in denial. Morons who are so blind to their own actions and behavior and words that are completely incapable of recognizing the deeply embedded damaged cores of their own natures.

Like the people who don’t consider themselves racist or discriminatory people- but will make racist/anti-gay jokes and remarks and comments anyways, failing to understand that the very act of uttering hateful things about others based on the color of their skin or whom they choose to love is in fact FUCKING PREJUDICED and promoting discrimination.

Even in this day and age, I believe that an overwhelming number of people are most definitely still prejudice and racist and sexist- it didn’t disappear with the Civil Rights Movement. It is just not socially acceptable anymore (thank goodness) to go around spewing racist/sexist commentary and jokes. It’s all under the radar now- it’s called "smiling discrimination."

I know PLENTY of people who still talk out of their asses like that, and in their own defenses, they will say things like "I am not racist- I have a black friend at work," or (via a Kern comment in the story below) "I have worked with individuals who are homosexual and I don’t hate them. I’ve never been rude to them."

Oh- but you will compare an aspect of their lifestyles and choices to CANCER and TERRORISM huh?

She’s right. That’s not being rude. THAT’S HATEFUL.

By promoting hate in this way, Kern is the one who represents the cancerous agenda in this country if you ask me.


*NEWS REPOST*

Oklahoma House Rep. Sally Kern made an Easter Sunday appearance on KFOR-TV’s "Flash Point" to face off with an openly gay pastor, elaborating on her recent leaked speech and defending her views.

A spirited theological and political debate ensued between Rep. Kern, host Kevin Ogle, panelists Burns Hargis and Mike Turpen, and Dr. Scott Jones of Oklahoma City’s Cathedral of Hope.

"I was speaking to a group of Republicans; grassroots Republicans," Kern explained of the original speech, which gained worldwide attention after posted on the Internet by the Gay & Lesbian
Victory Fund, "and I was talking about the homosexual agenda, and how they are out there putting forth--funding very heavily--homosexual and pro-homosexual candidates to run against, and defeat, conservatives across the nation.

"I did talk about what I believe...scientific evidence, health evidence...proves that the homosexual lifestyle is a dangerous lifestyle. And, yes, I did compare it to being more dangerous than terrorism. And my point in doing that, gentlemen, was this: Everybody knows terrorism destroys and tears down, and that was the only analogy I was making is that the homosexual agenda, this lifestyle which is so destructive to individuals, is at the heart trying to tear down what is the bedrock foundation of our society, which is the family and traditional marriage."

"You don’t really believe that Scott," asks panelist Michael Turpen of Pastor Jones, "is more dangerous than Osama bin Laden, do you?"

"I believe that the...homosexual agenda, and the lifestyle that it involves, is deadly to this nation. Now, I was not saying that Scott here is personally as dangerous as Osama bin Laden, but I was just making a comparison to prove my point."

"Well, I would denounce hate speech of any kind," rebuts Jones, "and have in my public remarks in response to yours. And you have to understand that when you say that gay people are like cancer...and cancer is something that we eradicate; that we kill; or that we are worse than terrorists, and terrorists are people that we go after to annihilate, to kill, you have to understand why those words would outrage people, because what are you saying? That we should go after gay people and eradicate them or annihilate them?"

"I wasn’t saying that you guys were a cancer," the legislator says to Dr. Jones. "I was saying that the effect is the very same as a cancer. If God’s people do not stand up and proclaim God’s word, which teaches that homosexuality is a sin; and if we try to just ignore it and let it become mainstream and take on the mentality that you folks want, that it’s a normal lifestyle, then that is going to spread through our culture, and we will no longer have the same kind of culture we’ve had for over 200 years. That’s all I meant."

"You have to understand," appeals Jones, "that there are multiple churches, Christians, denominations, highly respected scholars who disagree with your interpretation and application of scripture.

"Sally," asks Turpen, "if you had a gay child--"

"--I would love them as much as anybody else," Rep. Kern answers. "I would love them more than any of my other children because they would have a greater need."

Kern also weighs in on her son, answering allegations that he was gay based on a 1989 arrest of a Jesse Jacob Kern on oral sodomy charges.

"In 1989, my Jesse Aaron Kern was 12 years old, and we lived in Boise, Idaho. He has never been arrested, and he has been interviewed, and he has said, ’I am not...I am straight!’"

"But if he were, I’d love him," she continues, "because God created us all in his image, OK? God has a wonderful plan for every single one of us. Sin is out to destroy God’s plan for our lives."

"How could you love a gay son," asks Turpen, "that you have said is more dangerous to this country...than a terrorist?"

"I said the ’homosexual agenda,’" counters Kern. "I was not talking about--I have worked with other individuals who are homosexual. I don’t hate them. I have never been rude to them."

Dr. Jones takes exceptional issue with Kern’s lecturing on gays’ involvement in the political process. Jones finds that it makes the lawmaker’s comments "more outrageous" because he contends that she, as an elected official, is essentially labeling a certain group of people participating in the democratic process as worse than terrorists.

"The agenda is worse than terrorists," Kern counters.

"It is never dangerous for any of our citizens to engage in the democratic process," she adds. "I wish more of them would."

"What I’m saying is: their agenda, what they want to put upon the American people, which have for years been considered a ’Christian nation,’ who had a moral basis, where people knew what right and wrong was; where people knew that this was considered sin and this was not considered sin--"

Jones interjects: "--So a group of people advocating for their equal civil and human rights is more dangerous to this country--"

"If a person is born black, they can’t change that," Kern explains. "You see, that’s the heart of this issue is the homosexuals believe they’re born that way. No medical research--"

"--Even Al Mohler, the president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has agreed that all science is leading toward the idea that we are born that way."

"I disagree with that wholeheartedly," Kern says. "We’re all born with a sinful nature. I’m just as sinful as anybody else in this world."

"The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association all disagree with you, ma’am," Jones responds, "and they’re the people I would respect as having a mainstream view, and yours is in an extreme view."

"Mine is not an extreme view," counters Kern. "Mine is the view of the average American citizen, and I disagree with you."

"Why would somebody choose to be gay?" asks Turpen.

"Because of that sinful nature," Kern responds. "We can all choose to be whatever we want to be. You know, there are some people who have a propensity to have...a violent temper, and they have to learn to control that. They can’t go out and say ’that’s my propensity to be angry, so I’m going to engage in all the violence I want to."

Monday, March 10, 2008

Fond-EW

Last night Megan and I ate at "The Melting Pot" in Bricktown with the Hines fam for her step-sister's 19th birthday dinner.

Unfortunately Taylor missed out on this experience because his ass missed his flight home from Vegas yesterday...like I knew he would...but that's a whole different blog...GRRR.

Anyways- THE MELTING POT.

You know, the whole idea of a fondu restaurant SEEMS like a really fun idea...but this is of course if you aren't required to drop $50 (on the cheap end)-$100 or more (per duo/couple) + drinks for little pieces of torn up bread/chips/tiny bowls of carrot sticks/meat chunks and shrimp. Oh- and fruit nuggets.

All that you have to cook yourself.

All of these things you dip into bowls of melted cheese, vegetable broth or chocolate. To charge such an assanine amount of money on SNACK and FINGER FOOD, that place must make a KILLING.

The "experience" (what the manager called it after almost two hours of waiting for our "entrees") is cleverly disguised by a posh smoke screen of contemporary flare: a ritzy interior- deep mahogany wood, sleek Japanese style light fixtures, waiters dressed in all black... and a dizzying wine selection encased in an over-the-top wine cellar displayed behind a huge wall of glass.

Even the menu is a 2lb. wine bible bound in hardback silver- about 10 pages of wine by the bottle selection, and 3 pages of actual food options consisting of cheeses to melt, meats to dip and salads to pick.

They have made such a distractingly fancy atmosphere that you forget that you are about to drop a bill or two on tiny food that you spear with little metal sticks to dip in what I can only describe as variations of queso with designer names. Meals are split technically between two people- and when the meat cutlets are actually brought to the table, I can not be convinced that they would collectively create any one single cut of meat to justify charging such a stupid amount of money for TWO people to split.

The whole cooking raw chicken in a pot of volcanic hot vegetable broth that is expected to be used to also cook your beef/vegetables/and seafood really freaked me out. That just doesn't seem like a good idea.

I am honestly surprised that patrons aren't required to sign some sort of waiver cutting the restaurant out of any liability should someone consume a chunk of fondued salmonella.

The food was good- don't get me wrong- but I can't give credit to a restaurant whose menu consists solely of snack food and uncooked meat and vegetables. Hell, if anything I will give myself credit for becoming an awesome fondu chef since I cooked the damn meal myself.

Poor Carter- I can not even imagine what that bill came out to. Megan and I tried to order modestly...we saw how his face kind of fell/turned a little white once he opened the menu and realized how expensive it was considering the number of mouths he is required to satisfy on the always-needing-something-more gravy train he supports daily (this of course excludes me! I'm just a guest!).

My opinion aside for one moment, I must express that I AM grateful to have had the opportunity to TRY the place, so that I can write this blog...had Taylor and I gone in there just the two of us, we would have looked at that menu and laughed before snickering as we walked right back out that front door, "Surely they aren't serious in there? Let's go grab a STEAK or something." Sheesh.

My verdict on fondu dining? Fun idea, but seriously...SAVE YOUR MONEY! I didn't even spend any money and I felt overwhelmed at the prices- uncomfortable even. You can create melted cheese/chocolate product and provide your own dipping snacks for, OH, about a quarter what it costs for the "Melting Pot" dining experience.

And you can buy your own beautiful cut of beef/fish/chicken and cook it safely without fear of mixing different raw meat cooties together in a fancy pot.

Maybe this is why people were so damn skinny back in the day when FONDU was all the rage...they survived off of tiny bites of food and dips and called them meals...that and the abundant use of blow and disco dancing until the sun came up.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Politico Schlomitico

For the first time in my adult life I have actually been closely following the presidential race. I credit this to Barack Obama.
Like religion, I don't care to argue about politics with people who oppose my choice of candidacy...it's completely pointless.

No one can win the argument when there are opposing views, and everyone involved just winds up looking like loud assholes who really don't know as much as they think they do-they fail to prove any actual point because they are just trying to talk over one another.

Instead of cheering their candidates on for the issues that they feel strongly about and promoting them for their greater good, most people talking politics instead choose to tear down the candidates that they DON'T like and spout out word vomit and lose sight of the point of the bigger fucking picture.

Taking shots at other candidates and focusing on an intense dislike for that candidate, talking shit and spreading candidate bashing instead of focusing that energy on the candidate you actually are rooting for and providing constructive information on your choice of candidate- well the negavitity that some people choose to advocate instead of choosing to advocate the postive- those things embody to me the whole reason that I was turned off of politics for so long in the first place.

I like Obama's style. He focuses on his own agenda instead of being an asshole and taking shots at the others- this is inspiring to me. He gives me hope that this country will be able to crawl out of the stale hole we have sunken into.

Why he "scares" so many people I have no idea. Is it because of his name? Because of his skin color? What in the hell is so scary about this man? I believe that this fear comes out of ignorance and dumb ass fools buying into the racist/discriminatory chainmail being spread on the Internet. I have been AMAZED at how many people follow the other lemmings off of the cliff in this respect.

I believe that, when faced with someone who chooses to talk out of their ass because they don't really have a real grip on any legitimate point, it's important to just remember where you stand and what you are all about. What other people think about who you like for president is irrelevent, and I've learned that when people want to try to knock you down from where you stand,, the important thing is to remember that they are doing just that and not to let them phase you.

Too many people want to get heated and run their mouths...they TALK but fail to SPEAK...they HEAR but they refuse to LISTEN.

I'm all down for listening if that person wants to speak like an intelligent grown up instead of yelling and bitching and shit talking like a fucking baby...and I'm all down for conversing if the other person is able to LISTEN to what I have to say as well.

You know, a civilized, back and forth conversation. I have found FEW people, those who both agree with/oppose of my perspective, who are able to do this. Everyone else has come across as angry and bitter and pissed off...talking themselves in circles and getting no where because they just want to BLAH BLAH BLAH HEARSAY HEARSAY HEARSAY.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Born Again Virgin

No- I'm not considering this delusional concept for myself- but I read an article about it the other day and I find the whole idea amusing (link to the article is at the bottom of this blog).
The idea of becoming a born again virgin is ridiculous to me. Abstinence- great. Saving virginity for marriage- great. But reclaiming virginity? Doesn't that completely miss the point of virginity?

I have heard of the surgical procedure that some women are doing to have their hymens sewn back together to give their husbands the "gift" of having sex with a virgin, and frankly, the whole thing totally creeps me out.

Unless you are a woman living in a country where it means life or death to have your virginity in tact, I don't understand the point of virginity reclaimation if you have already been around the block a couple of times.

I am appalled at the idea of the hymen surgery that more and more women are choosing to have to "get" their virginities back.

(the article refers to the finished 'product' of a restitched hymen as stretching broken hymen tight like a drum with a hole left in the middle...that hurts just thinking about it!).

And who in the HELL would ever want to go through losing their virginity again?

How exactly does a man go about reclaiming his virginity? I mean, if he wanted to give his wife the "gift" of having sex with a man who is a virgin, how does he do that?

I don't understand how these people can think that they can claim being a born again Virgin once they have already done the physical act of sex. If virginity is such a big deal, and is so sacred, then I would think that being able to legitimately reclaim your virginity as you see fit- and/or restitching your virginal female 'proof of purchase' seal- would devalue virginity in a whole, because then ANYONE could lose their virginity and POOF! Take it back and be a virgin all over again.

It's physically impossible. I don't care if you have sewn your ya-ya back up. Wouldn't that be like opening up a UPS box and then trying to re-box tape it exactly how it was when you got it using the same tape? Just leave it be.

I don't understand how, if you have already had sex, you could ever revert back to the mindset that accompanies being a virgin~ I mean, isn't that part of it? The uncertainty, awkwardness, curiosity, cluelessness of it all? When you lose your virginity you are going into totally uncharted territory. If you have already explored the turf of having sex for the first time, you will never get that first time back.

By the time you are in your twenties and are no longer a virgin, just fucking own it already. If you have already had children, you pretty much have to own it because calling yourself a virgin after birthing physical, breathing, living proof of losing your virginity is just delusional and pointless- who are you trying to fool? It's a total joke. Sorry honey, even the daughter of a minister who has lost "it" can never get it back, no matter how much she prays otherwise (I say minister's daughter because of the article's focus subject). She's just as "tainted" in the eyes of her god as the rest of us "sinners" who gave it up before marriage.

I feel sorry for teenagers who are/will learn about this whole Born Again Virgin thing~ like being a teenager isn't confusing enough on its own with all of the other noise you must sort through while trying to find yourself.

I think that promoting being able to become a Born Again Virgin tells kids who are taught abstinence in school hypocrisy...Don't have sex! But just in case you fuck up, literally, you can always become a born again virgin!

More proof of how ass-backwards things in our society have gotten.

Born Again Virgin.

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