Screw You Slowed Down Metabolism
One of the part-time guys in my office also works for Krispy Kreme donuts. I can't tell if he's an angel or the devil for bringing his weekly donut pilgrimages into the break room.
His generosity reminds me that I no longer have my 21 year-old metabolism, and that pushing 30 means that I have to learn this thing called "self-control" in the eating department.
I've never had to watch what I eat and I have discovered how much it absolutely SUCKS to have to watch what I eat for the sake of not letting myself balloon out of my pants. This to me means that in this aspect of my life, I am no longer able to have my cake and eat it too. Grrrr.
Of course, I could always exercise to keep my metabolism up, but exercise and I have long battled our love/hate relationship and I'm not sure I'm ready to surrender to the exercise gods just yet. I mean, I'm obviously going to have to at some point in order to keep myself at a reasonable size, but damn it if I'm not going to wait until it's absolutely necessary.
Vanity is a bitch. I wish I didn't care, but I can't deny the fact that I prefer to have reasonably small figure and I'm terrified of getting fat. I long for the days where I could eat like a horse and not have to lift a finger to maintain my weight.
Those days left me around my 26th birthday.
Why oh WHY is it not feasible to burn calories just from using my brain? My mind could burn the kind of calories that a devoted runner burns with all of the contemplating and talking to myself in my head that I do all day.
Or what about typing? I type all freaking day. That should constitute some sort of effective amount of calorie burning. The mental gears I grind all day should be sufficient enough to keep my metabolism up.
In a perfect world, it would be. But alas, this is far from a perfect world. And in this imperfect son of a bitch of a world I'm going to have to work up the motivation to kick my ass into gear and start exercising again soon. Since I'm feeling especially whiny today, it just doesn't seem fair to me that I can exert all of the energy that I do in other outlets and NOT burn enough calories to keep my metabolism up.
Ugh. I'm just not motivated and devoted to doing physical activity. I never have been. I've always rather have sat in a corner with a good book or be creating something than be out running around. I prefer to expel my energy in other ways. Even as a kid, with my half dozen cousins at my grandmother's house out running around in the country getting dirty and playing, I would be on the sidelines reading or people watching or sunning myself like a cat.
I wish that excitement for physical exercise was contagious and some overtly active person would come sneeze in my face.
