Monday, September 8, 2008

Palin Want a Cracker???

This Independent voter is not very impressed with this "Blind Date" that John McCain has set America up on with Sarah Palin, but I'm hearing snippets from women who are smitten with this woman who has captured the hearts of conservative females with one scripted speech. I heard several women gushing over Sarah Palin over the weekend and frankly, their basis for Superfandom seemed to have as much substance and reasoning, in my opinion, as hunting animals with rifles from helicopters for sport...which Sarah Palin does proudly.

I've figured out why Sarah Palin bothers me so much...She is the pretty Pied Piper of the same old shit and she's got her Right Wing sheep eating out of her hand by parroting teleprompted, scripted Old Cronie hearsay.

I sincerely would LOVE to see a woman in the White House that I believe in. I would sincerely LOVE to see that milestone crossed in my lifetime. But not by this woman. I wasn't a Hillary supporter either, but that was because I've been an Obama supporter from the get go. Hillary irritated me, but at least I supported most of her issues. And I respect her.

I have to admit, by tapping into the female chromosome gene pool as a weapon and trying to steal the message of Change that Obama has been fighting and striving for since the beginning, John McCain's a lot dirtier of a politician than I gave him credit for. I never really had anything personal against him about his character, just opposition to where he stands on issues, but now he's just gotten pathetic to me.

To think this whole time, I thought he was just a POW American War Hero, you know, considering that is all I think he really rides on to get where he is. That's all I ever hear his campaign talking about. Oh, and his marrying into millions and in-lawed political connections didn't hurt either....anyways...

The Republican party is trying to redefine feminism to fit their needs to keep their party in office and it's disgusting. The mass majority of these right wing, conservative Christian men and women who are throwing around the "sexism" and "feminism" cards were once so quick to criticize and scrutinize the very word "feminism"- calling feminists "feminazis" and angry, man-hating liberals- and now they suddenly want to own the word and use it for their benefit. For a party who seems to have rejected the word for so long, they sure are excited to use it now.

It's so hypocritical and amazing to me how easily the masses can be distracted and swayed by a pretty face- so much so that so many, including so many of my fellow independents, fail to recognize that although she can woo an audience with her small town accent and smug snipes at the Left, she has no clear message other than regurgitating the same old message that everyone already knows has failed for the past 8 years.

Same old shit under the guise of a fresh face. She reminds me of those girls you grow up with that are sweet as sugar on the outside to appease adults and teachers, but have that manipulative, mean underbelly that can get away with murder because they are pretty.

Youth and attractiveness really do work as magic in this country. I read a study on politics after television had hit the mainstream and what a difference it made with voting trends during presidential elections. Not to undermine Kennedy, but his good looks had a tremendous effect on "inspiring" more women to get out and vote- it's a historical and statistical fact!

I don't believe that Sarah Palin's romancing her party is any different. More men seem to be OK with having a woman in the White House so long as she looks good.

SO many men were ruthless with Hillary, who isn't "hot" and wore pantsuits and was more of your classic "feminazi" assertive, but Sarah Palin comes along with her beauty pageant hairdo and skirts and smug lipstick comments and suddenly she's America's sassy sweetheart.

Hillary did all the dirty work and took all of the ugly blows, and now Sarah Palin is reaping the benefits without having to actually do anything to earn it. Sarah Palin is not the NEW face of feminism, but she is certainly a different face of it- the anti-feminist who wants to cling to the very messages that keep women getting paid less then men for equal work and could potentially keep women from being able to govern their own bodies, among a laundry list of other things.

I have had several people say things to me along the lines of, "Well, you consider yourself a feminist- I would think that you would be happy to see a woman become vice president," and, "It's sexist to say that a woman couldn't juggle her family and being a Vice President of the United States." La la la la laaaaaaa.

Yes, Sarah Palin is an impressive orator. Yes, Sarah Palin is charismatic. Yes, Sarah Palin is a skilled politician. But we're talking about someone who could end up being the president of the United States here people! She's impressive and strong in her own right, but this is our country we're talking about, not Wasila, Alaska.

Has the Republican party forgotten about John McCain? Who in the hell is actually running for president here? McCain or Palin? Because all I hear about is Palin- and what I DO hear about John McCain is the shit I already knew- he's a war hero POW who likes to call himself Maverick and is older than my grandmother...who is OLD.

I don't find a man who was once moderately Republican who suddenly decides to take a hard turn to the extreme Right- when he was first leaning to the Left (Lieberman)- to win a presidential election to be very Mavericky. I find that to be a cop out of character.

I find myself totally annoyed with the fact that Sarah Palin has a journalism degree but avoids talking to the media because she thinks they are being mean and disrespectful. She was openly bitter and resentful during the RNC, taking shots at the media, wagging her finger at them when she should know better. If she actually paid attention in college- or wait, wait- actually took it seriously instead of focusing so much on her beauty pageants, she would know what journalists DO.

Journalists ask questions. Journalists are the watchdogs. Journalists and the news media are here to relay information that people want to know. Yes, it's an imperfect system that has a tendency to sensationalize, but in all reality- it is what it is and it's all that we've got to access information, however it is put.

Palin is being protected under the wing of her party to keep her away from journalists' prying questions- specifically those that might undermine the "progress" the party has made since her acceptance speech. So she's being primed and coached and briefed beforehand to be prepared to have to speak without tele-prompters or speech writers.

She complains about not talking to the media until they give her respect and stay out of her personal life, when THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME honey!

This is someone who, up until a week and a half ago, no one knew anything about. And now she's poised to take over the second most important job in our country...and we don't have the right to know anything and everything about her?
She's sensitive to the media and the public questioning her experience, when any responsible "employer" or recruiter for any job would thoroughly review and inspect her RESUME.

Male politicians have been dealing with that shit since the beginning of time. If we want women in the White House, we have to impose the same standards and practices on them that we do on the mens. It's only fair.

Equality is Equality- not equality when it is convenient.

How many male politicians running for the White House, or who have been in the White House, have had to endure the spotlight on their personal lives via the media? How badly do all of them get scrutinized and studied under a microscope, and questioned and criticized and speculated about, not only as politicians, but as MEN and as husbands and as fathers?

If she wants to play in what has been traditionally a game of the Big Boys, she needs to own up and take it like the men who have done it before her. If she can dish it, which is has proven she is more than capable of doing, she needs to be willing to TAKE it too. If she really "whooped the good ol' boys" then she doesn't have anything to worry about then, does she?

This isn't governing the 48th least populated state in the nation- this is becoming the right hand (wo)man to the leader of the free world.

She is getting all of this credit for being a mother of 5 and having a special needs baby- which is great, and is relatable to American women- but why, on the other hand, don't more MALE politicians get hailed more for being fathers and balancing work and family?

Certain media (ahem~ FOX NEWS) and McCain/Palin supporters are whining, "Oh, stop picking on Sarah Palin and her family," when really, that comes with the territory. This isn't anything new- they aren't special. She thrust her family and all of their issues into the public eye the moment she accepted that nomination.

Pregnant, unwed teenage daughter when you are part of a party who is opposed to sex education and contraceptives and abortion? Of course people are going to talk about it and it's going to be an issue.

Utilizing the condition of your special needs infant as part of your platform in any way, shape or form? Of course people are going to talk about it and it's going to be an issue.

When you throw down your role as a mother as an underlying basis of your platform be prepared for that role to go under the microscope, if that's what your building your character on. I would expect the same from any man crying something like "Integrity" to have his integrity as a man/husband/father put under speculation if he chooses to make it something he builds his character on.

Palin wants the media to stay out of her private life, when, if elected, she plans to help McCain overturn Roe vs. Wade, making her the co-captain of a government that will invade the private lives of ALL AMERICAN WOMEN by retaining control over our reproductive rights.


Friday, August 29, 2008

Vice President Sarah Palin

Sure, McCain.

A conservative gun toting, former beauty queen/sports reporter who is opposed to Choice and same sex marriage is REALLY going to appeal to Hillary Clinton supporters...I mean I guess she might to SOME who strictly don't want to see a man of color in office...but not to the Hillary Clinton supporters who really grasped her issues and what all she actually stands for.


Looks like you really did your research there guy. You must be under the misconception that all women and feminists just want to see a woman break through that glass ceiling, based solely on the fact that that woman has a vagina. This is not the case- but I thank you for being such an out of touch moron to believe so. You just did us a favor.

You want to take hits at Obama for being young and "inexperienced" with foreign policy? It's going to be a BLAST seeing you win that argument now that your VP running mate is not only 3 years junior to Obama, but whose only experience lies in mayoring/governing the 48th least populous states in the nation. As Kassie said, Joe Biden is going to eat that poor woman for breakfast in a debate. It's actually pretty sad.

One would think that you would understand that Americans, including your own supporters, understand that if your old ass has a stroke or croaks while in office, we would all be left in the hands of a new term Alaskan governor whose educational background simply includes a BA in journalism...

Not to knock my own degree, but come on. I would know. We journalists are in no way qualified to be running a fucking country...and she wasn't even a journalist per say...she was a SPORTS REPORTER.

oh- ~tear~ what a hoot.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cigarettes and Whiskey

Had a dream last night about cigarettes and whiskey. The cigarettes I can see, but whiskey? I haven't been much of a whiskey drinker since high school. Gin? Maybe, but I would have thought that I'd of been dreaming of beautifully sweating pints of frothy German beer.

I woke up wondering if it's the actual cigarettes and whiskey that I miss, or if it's what the cigarettes and whiskey REPRESENT that I miss. Then when I really think about it, I don't believe that I actually miss any of it, which is strange to me, because I was convinced that I would.

I don't miss smelling like an ashtray and I don't miss waking up in the morning with a chest full of tar, stinky hair and a headache. I don't miss peeling myself off of my bed and wondering what exactly I ran my mouth off about the night before. I don't miss not remembering taking the pictures that fill my camera or where an impressive collection of bruises on my legs came from.

Maybe my subconscious misses what the cigarettes and whiskey represent: youth, feeling indestructible, and a complete lack of understanding an entirely new world of responsibility and obligation...the kind of awareness I couldn't even grasp for myself, let alone another person...or two.

While out for Kassie's birthday the other night, Taylor was nursing his second large beer with dinner. I asked him if he was going to finish it and he shrugged and said, "Nah- it's no fun drinking without you. You're fun to drink with."

I thought that was sweet.

It made me realize to a new extent that he and I are no longer 21 and out to consume everything in our paths...which we obviously haven't been 21 in several years, and obviously we still have plenty of years ahead of us to have beers together and the occasional smoke...

But it was when he said that that my mind veered off into entirely new direction in concerns to the drink: the beer chugging and shot taking and late night after bar pow-wowing have already ceased to exist and they're not coming least not in the same context as they once were in. Poof. It's all a lot heavier to settle in for me as time flies by.

My mind has been doing a lot of that lately and it's the kind of analyzing sparked by a natural high that is better than anything aided by physical substance. It's amazing and addicting and more satisfying than anything a cigarette or whiskey drink has to offer...with the added bonus of being hangover free.

It's quite a shift to go from years of abusing my body to the opposite- now spending all of my waking hours trying to preserve it and keep it healthy because there are two other people who are constantly on my mind whose well-beings and happiness and regards I hold before my own...because they depend on me and need me.

Being married rules. Starting a family rules. Getting old RULES.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

OKC Phallic War

So OKC will have the 54th tallest building in the world, come 2012. This new Devon skyscraper is going to be ridiculously massive, "eclipsing" downtown's existing tallest building- the Chase Tower.

This glittering new pillar of male phallic symbolism will be the shining middle finger of Downtown OKC, dwarfing everything surrounding it, compliments of Devon Energy Corp. How long will it take after its erection for corporations such as, oh, Chesapeake Energy Corporation, to say "Hey, I have a big dick too! I need a huge tower to show the state who the big man in Oklahoma is! Me too! Me too!"

And then they will all start popping up- a perpetual hard-on-a-thon for the Metro.

I'll bet the big heads down at Devon are stroking their egos right now at the sight of their titanic masterpiece in the making. Yikes. I nearly choked on my apple juice when I saw these pictures. Can we HANDLE it Oklahoma? Can we?

Business Week article:Devon Skyscraper.

The only cities with taller buildings would be Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Houston, Philadelphia, Cleveland and Seattle.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Pineapple Express

Can I PLEASE get that hour and a half of my life back???? PLEEEEEASE? I'm sorry to all of you who liked that movie, or who will go on to see it and think it's "awesome." I can't hold back. I want my $5.50 back (thank goodness for Tinseltown or I'd of wasted an additional 3 or 4 bucks on scriptual vomit).

I didn't care to see Pineapple Express in the first place- you know, after that impressive trailer they've been airing and all ( entire movie about Seth Rogan getting high? THAT'S new), but Taylor wanted to go so I went. Half of me went in willing to give it a chance (James Franco is kind of cute), and the other half knows my taste too well to expect too much.

Let me say this: I laughed more in 3 minutes at the trailer for "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" than I did throughout the entire duration of Pineapple Express.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a good stoner flick if it is cleverly written, but I am SO over the fart and balls humor that is the specialty of Judd Apatow. Can Seth Rogan play ANYTHING that doesn't involve him embodying an overweight, slacker, underachieving burn out who, in case he doesn't make it clear enough in his movies, LOVES to smoke weed?

By the way, Seth Rogan LOVES to smoke weed. Did you know that? Did you know that Seth Rogan loves to smoke weed? Well, just to set the record straight, Seth Rogan LOVES to smoke weed.

In my opinion, a good stoner flick should have more than just the element of "Dude I'm so stoned all the fucking time." Believe it or not, not all people who smoke pot want to be dazzled with a script that requires them to tap into mental retardation for entertainment.

I personally don't believe that an entire movie based on getting stoned and smoking weed is funny- with the rare case of movies like the Big Lebowski or Dazed and Confused. There are plenty of funny movies out there where the stories involve smoking weed...but the good ones always have more going on than simply that.

Seeing people get high in movies is entertaining when used in moderation- like a spice- as a part of a bigger and more interesting plot, but my attention span for watching movies whose sole mission is to glorify being a brain dead stoner lasts about 5 minutes.

Cheech and Chong, Half Baked, Pineapple Express...Even in my more burnt out slacker days as a teenager, I still couldn't sit through an entire Cheech and Chong movie, and the summer after high school when the "party spot" had Half Baked in the VCR (yes, VCR) every fucking night for three months straight, I thought I might have to kill myself.

Watching a bunch of burnt out losers whose sole mission in life is to get high gets old SO fast. I was bored and half asleep less than halfway into Pineapple Express. I think it started with the whole montage of Seth Rogan and James Franco geeking out and acting like jack asses in the woods after smoking a joint the size of a tampon.

Oh, and I'm sorry, but in the fantasy land of Seth Rogan dating a pretty blonde 16 year-old high school girl and selling weed to kids on a playground isn't funny- it's fucking sick. The one saving grace was that James Franco is pretty cute, BUT- in this movie, his dirty, ashes for brains, loveable pot dealing persona reminded me too much of some of the burnt out slackers I used to "date" in my less formidable years: cute, but like communicating with a Chia Pet who could get me high for free.

If this says anything about the kind of humor Pineapple Express, the plethora of obnoxious teenagers sitting four rows behind us who spent the entire movie laughing like idiot hyenas and cheering every time a huge sack of fluffy buds came on screen (which was a lot, by the way) actually "whoop whooped" and APPLAUDED at the end of this movie. APPLAUDED, as if having just witnessed the most beautiful piece of film they'd ever seen. APPLAUDED, as if wiping a single tear from their cheek, suddenly inspired and moved to go out into the world and find spiritual enlightenment.

Perhaps it was that moving and inspirational to some...and the spiritual enlightenment that they would seek would be that of a holy cross/crucifix triple smoke joint a la Pineapple Express (which honestly was pretty innovative, but you'll have to see the movie to see what I'm talking about).

Another cult classic has been born and thus will cultivate future generations of lazy couch potatoe'ing potheads in the years to come.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Taking Lemons and Making Lemon Drop Shots...NonAlcoholic Lemon Drop Shots, that is...

So the trip to Key West went bunk and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the time off I set aside for vacation...and boy do I need a vacation. I'm taking one anyways, even if it means staying at home alone for a few days (while Taylor is out of town and at Lake Texoma...sorry, but hanging out on a boat at a lake in 100 degree heat while everyone around you gets shit faced drunk is not my idea of FUN right fact, it sounds like HELL). I haven't taken any time off since December, when we went on that cruise. Since that cruise, literally since the day we returned, my life has been a circus.

Not a bad scary clown circus, but a circus none the less. Moving into a new house during an ice storm with no electricity, the holidays (which are stressful for most people!), finding out we were pregnant, Taylor getting a new job that requires him to work out of town a lot, finding out we lost the baby, recovering mentally and emotionally from losing the baby, going a little nuts from losing the baby and suffering a mild identity crisis while living in another city away from immediate family and close friends, completely gutting and renovating the entire downstairs floor of our new house, finding out we are pregnant again and spending the first trimester sick as shit for three months while living amongst the chaos of renovating our new house and having no kitchen....

I also "lost" a very close and dear friend of mine during all of that commotion, for stupid reasons that still baffle me. I think, despite my defensive and indifferent front, that has stressed me out a lot more than I like to believe and let on. I've cut loose friends in the past for being assholes, but this particular friend's exit from my life has hurt me more than any of the others ever have. But I've learned that you can't get sucked into other people's neurosis and you can't fall "victim" into allowing yourself to be a punching bag for other people's issues. Some people can't be helped or saved or reasoned with without making you a glutton for punishment on their behalf. It's not healthy. Some friendships just expire, and like with love relationships, "break ups" with people you are closest to HURT. It's unfortunate, but I really believe that the entire situation had a big affect on the way I view friendship and how many eggs I feel comfortable placing in anyone else's basket, so to speak. I wouldn't say I'm crippled and damaged, but definitely even more guarded and has really made me reevaluate what (I believe) it means to be a "friend." One thing I've learned is to lower expectations...lower them waaaaay down. Whittle them down to next to nothing. Sometimes I guess you have to or people will continually disappoint you, and that just creates unwanted, unneeded stress....and who needs more stress?

I think some people get mistaken into thinking that just because people get married and try to start a family and kick "domestic" life into full swing, their worlds become all peaches and cream and sunshine 24/ their stress factor becomes anything less important or significant than theirs might be. Stress doesn't discriminate and it is distributed equally for everyone in different forms. Stress never goes away, it just evolves and turns into new kinds of stress. How we handle it and grow to adapt to how we deal with it makes all the difference.

Shoving all of that brain clutter of mine aside, I've been making an extra big effort to try to deflect stress from my world and I'm really trying not to let anything bring me down. I think of it as "cleaning house." Now is not the time to dwell on negativity and sweat the small stuff, but it can be quite an internal struggle for someone who is hard-wired to sweat the small stuff and dwell on cynicism. Old habits die hard, but I firmly believe that my attitude and vibe and well-being and ability to filter out the bullshit that comes at me has an impact on how my baby will be hard-wired. Every second of every day, I'm working to keep light of situations. I'm learning to recycle the "noise" and "garbage" and walk away having gained better insight, adamantly trying avoid anything that might upset me. It's really so amazing what someone whom you haven't even met yet can do to enrich and better your life. When I start to feel anxious and up in arms, I just meditate on Taylor's and my little "gift" and focus on all that is good in my life. No thing and no one else matters.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Team Jolie

I found myself immersed in an interesting conversation the other evening, while stuffing wedding invitations for my best friend. It's interesting the kind of chatter that comes about when you get a group of women together who don't know one another all that well.

It's foreign territory for me~ I rarely find myself socializing with more than one or two females- and when I do, those females are pretty much always my best friends- that is, of course, unless there is drinking involved.

It's once in a blue moon that it is a gathering of sober females and sober conversation... and the curious thing was that I don't believe the group of females I was sitting with individually do it often either- sober or not, I believe this group to have been a group that, like me, rarely finds themselves in groups of other women to chat.

Anyways, the conversation somehow come about to a "discussion" about Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston...a debate that I've noticed always divides certain kinds of women from one another: it's always particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Aniston" and particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Jolie." Although I love Jennifer Aniston on "Friends," I personally am an Angelina fan. Jennifer Aniston is OK, but I think she's plain and boring and one-dimensional as anything other than playing Rachel Green. She's a romantic comedy princess...and I'm not a romantic comedy kind of girl. YAWN.

Angelina is interesting and aggressive and edgy. She makes action movies and films that are more mysterious and exciting...thus, making her more mysterious and exciting and complicated. She's an action heroine. Jennifer Aniston could NEVER have pulled off sociopath Lisa in "Girl Interrupted." And that sums up why I prefer Angelina to Jennifer. I prefer eccentrics and outcasts over your run of the mill cookie cutters any day.

But I don't really see any celebrity as actual human beings or people. They are as fictitious to me as they characters they portray in movies or on TV. No one, besides their immediate spouses, friends, family and personal acquaintances, actually knows what kind of people celebrities really are...and it's hilarious when I hear people talk about them like they do.

My mother does this with Angelina Jolie. My brother and I call her "Team Jolie" because she just thinks she's the most interesting, beautiful, exotic, awesome celebrity in the world. She loves her philanthropic work and her choice to adopt children, among other things. She doesn't see her as the bitch that stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, America's Sweetheart.

One of the "Team Anistons" at the wedding invitation stuffing gathering insisted that Jennifer Aniston is "such a sweetheart" and that Angelina Jolie is a home wrecker. Most of the other "Team Anistons" agreed whole heartedly. I always find this perspective to be amusing, because the chicks who always side with Aniston talk as if she is one of their girlfriends, and seem to take the entire Jennfier/Brad/Angelina thing so personally.

As if they spent nights consoling poor Jennifer during her split from Brad and personally have experienced her All-American "sweetness." How does anyone really know if Jennifer Aniston is the sweetheart that the media paints her to be? Maybe she's a huge pain in the ass bitch in real-life. Maybe she is so utterly lacking in personality that Brad got so incredibly bored with the mundane life he'd gotten himself into that he was about to lose his mind if he didn't find something more stimulating and fulfilling.

Strictly on the surface, he got a hell of a lot more interesting once he got together with Angelina, that's for sure. He went from glitzy pretty boy Hollywood cookie cutter with Aniston to globe trotting, philanthropic attempting-to-better-the-world with his fame father of internationally adopted children with Jolie. It looks to me like he want more in life than just walking the red carpet and playing Ken and Barbie.

Who knows. All I know is that it takes two to tango, two to make a relationship work or fail. And not only that, but who fucking cares? Angelina, Brad and Jennifer are all mythological creatures who exist on the silver screen. They aren't even real.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Feeling a Tad Vain Today

Thinking today about personal style and I how I am going to adjust my wardrobe to accommodate my progressively expanding preggo bod. I don't believe it's going to be as big of a transition as I thought it might be however. I have never been into clingy revealing clothing as it is, mind the occasional tight baby t-shirt or butt-hugging jeans when feeling extra sassy for a night out.

I'm finding myself adjusting to my growing tummy quite nicely considering I've always preferred the flowy, mid-drift hiding tops anyways. My mid-section has never been my most flattering area, obviously. I blame it on my addiction to white rice and avid refusal to do partake in stomach toning physical activity. It has always been worth the sacrifice, in my opinion, to enjoy my white rice and absence of stress from worry of having toned abs. I had other assets to work in my favor that didn't really require me to try and there is nothing that a little strategic clothing choices couldn't hide.

But it is quite unnerving to realize that the one part of your body you have always been the most self-conscious about in the first place has now become the focal point of your entire physical existence...and people want to come up and poke and touch it. This is frustrating and makes me want to swipe at them like an angry cat.

A) Because I don't believe that pregnancy makes a woman suddenly public property
B) Most of my "bump" is just a protective layer of fat (PLOF) that has developed to keep my little fetus safe until it actually grows bigger than a shrimp or lime or whatever food item wants to call it right now.

I'm happy with the sundresses I've been wearing. They do a most excellent job of making my PLOF look more like a cute little baby bump (which IS there, but slowly peeking out from the PLOF) than just a gut. In fact, that's ALL I care to wear. I'm only at the end of my first trimester and I've only worn pants once in the last 3 weeks. I just may never wear them again.

I'm really working on establishing an artillery of clothing that does not require me to wear pants for as long as humanly possible, and also reviving my collection of accessories, which to me is the most important part of any wardrobe anyways. I LOVE my accessories...especially my sunglasses. I think that a woman's sunglasses are some of the most important investments she can have in regards to what she wears.

I mean, if my face is inevitably going to get round and go "moon pie" (as my mother calls it) with pregnancy weight gain, then damn it, I'm going to make sure that I have some kick ass eye wear to make sure it is cute.

I've never been one for designer labels...but I must admit that I am a pretentious eye wear snob. I think that comes with the territory though, after spending 5 years managing a Sunglass Hut and selling designer sunglasses. Once you've owned a pair of Prada or Versace or Ray Bans or Maui Jims...well, you just don't go back.

You could wear an outfit consisting of items straight off of bargain racks (which is the first place I zero in on in a store) and give it a whole new life with a sweet pair of designer shades...and on the flip side, you could wear all the designer labels you want on your body, but if you are sporting cheap, knock of sunglasses the outfit immediately is WACK.

I'm sorry, but cheap knock off sunglasses are one of my biggest pet peeves and I hate the excuse of, "Oh, I'm not spending that much on a pair of sunglasses that I am just going to break or lose." How about you just take care of your shit instead?

Hello! It's your FACE- that's the most important part of your body. What you wear everywhere else is just an afterthought if you ask me. Designer sunglasses are the one item that you can get away with wearing with everything you own, because they can go with everything you own.

Not only that, but wearing crappy cheapos can fuck up your eyes- think about it. You get one set of eyeballs...your tools for VISION. Why would you want to look around through cheap plastic lenses that aren't even optically correct, therefore slowly distorting your eyesight over the years and causing you to have to prematurely wear bifocals because you were too cheap to invest in quality eye wear in your younger days?

People need to get a clue. As someone who has worn glasses since I was 7, I can appreciate protecting my baby browns as best I can, since I already can't see for shit without the help of contacts and spectacles.

I'm getting a pair of Burberrys tomorrow and I'm SO excited. It's like getting a new pet!

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