Monday, September 8, 2008

Palin Want a Cracker???

This Independent voter is not very impressed with this "Blind Date" that John McCain has set America up on with Sarah Palin, but I'm hearing snippets from women who are smitten with this woman who has captured the hearts of conservative females with one scripted speech. I heard several women gushing over Sarah Palin over the weekend and frankly, their basis for Superfandom seemed to have as much substance and reasoning, in my opinion, as hunting animals with rifles from helicopters for sport...which Sarah Palin does proudly.

I've figured out why Sarah Palin bothers me so much...She is the pretty Pied Piper of the same old shit and she's got her Right Wing sheep eating out of her hand by parroting teleprompted, scripted Old Cronie hearsay.

I sincerely would LOVE to see a woman in the White House that I believe in. I would sincerely LOVE to see that milestone crossed in my lifetime. But not by this woman. I wasn't a Hillary supporter either, but that was because I've been an Obama supporter from the get go. Hillary irritated me, but at least I supported most of her issues. And I respect her.

I have to admit, by tapping into the female chromosome gene pool as a weapon and trying to steal the message of Change that Obama has been fighting and striving for since the beginning, John McCain's a lot dirtier of a politician than I gave him credit for. I never really had anything personal against him about his character, just opposition to where he stands on issues, but now he's just gotten pathetic to me.

To think this whole time, I thought he was just a POW American War Hero, you know, considering that is all I think he really rides on to get where he is. That's all I ever hear his campaign talking about. Oh, and his marrying into millions and in-lawed political connections didn't hurt either....anyways...

The Republican party is trying to redefine feminism to fit their needs to keep their party in office and it's disgusting. The mass majority of these right wing, conservative Christian men and women who are throwing around the "sexism" and "feminism" cards were once so quick to criticize and scrutinize the very word "feminism"- calling feminists "feminazis" and angry, man-hating liberals- and now they suddenly want to own the word and use it for their benefit. For a party who seems to have rejected the word for so long, they sure are excited to use it now.

It's so hypocritical and amazing to me how easily the masses can be distracted and swayed by a pretty face- so much so that so many, including so many of my fellow independents, fail to recognize that although she can woo an audience with her small town accent and smug snipes at the Left, she has no clear message other than regurgitating the same old message that everyone already knows has failed for the past 8 years.

Same old shit under the guise of a fresh face. She reminds me of those girls you grow up with that are sweet as sugar on the outside to appease adults and teachers, but have that manipulative, mean underbelly that can get away with murder because they are pretty.

Youth and attractiveness really do work as magic in this country. I read a study on politics after television had hit the mainstream and what a difference it made with voting trends during presidential elections. Not to undermine Kennedy, but his good looks had a tremendous effect on "inspiring" more women to get out and vote- it's a historical and statistical fact!

I don't believe that Sarah Palin's romancing her party is any different. More men seem to be OK with having a woman in the White House so long as she looks good.

SO many men were ruthless with Hillary, who isn't "hot" and wore pantsuits and was more of your classic "feminazi" assertive, but Sarah Palin comes along with her beauty pageant hairdo and skirts and smug lipstick comments and suddenly she's America's sassy sweetheart.

Hillary did all the dirty work and took all of the ugly blows, and now Sarah Palin is reaping the benefits without having to actually do anything to earn it. Sarah Palin is not the NEW face of feminism, but she is certainly a different face of it- the anti-feminist who wants to cling to the very messages that keep women getting paid less then men for equal work and could potentially keep women from being able to govern their own bodies, among a laundry list of other things.

I have had several people say things to me along the lines of, "Well, you consider yourself a feminist- I would think that you would be happy to see a woman become vice president," and, "It's sexist to say that a woman couldn't juggle her family and being a Vice President of the United States." La la la la laaaaaaa.

Yes, Sarah Palin is an impressive orator. Yes, Sarah Palin is charismatic. Yes, Sarah Palin is a skilled politician. But we're talking about someone who could end up being the president of the United States here people! She's impressive and strong in her own right, but this is our country we're talking about, not Wasila, Alaska.

Has the Republican party forgotten about John McCain? Who in the hell is actually running for president here? McCain or Palin? Because all I hear about is Palin- and what I DO hear about John McCain is the shit I already knew- he's a war hero POW who likes to call himself Maverick and is older than my grandmother...who is OLD.

I don't find a man who was once moderately Republican who suddenly decides to take a hard turn to the extreme Right- when he was first leaning to the Left (Lieberman)- to win a presidential election to be very Mavericky. I find that to be a cop out of character.

I find myself totally annoyed with the fact that Sarah Palin has a journalism degree but avoids talking to the media because she thinks they are being mean and disrespectful. She was openly bitter and resentful during the RNC, taking shots at the media, wagging her finger at them when she should know better. If she actually paid attention in college- or wait, wait- actually took it seriously instead of focusing so much on her beauty pageants, she would know what journalists DO.

Journalists ask questions. Journalists are the watchdogs. Journalists and the news media are here to relay information that people want to know. Yes, it's an imperfect system that has a tendency to sensationalize, but in all reality- it is what it is and it's all that we've got to access information, however it is put.

Palin is being protected under the wing of her party to keep her away from journalists' prying questions- specifically those that might undermine the "progress" the party has made since her acceptance speech. So she's being primed and coached and briefed beforehand to be prepared to have to speak without tele-prompters or speech writers.

She complains about not talking to the media until they give her respect and stay out of her personal life, when THAT'S THE NAME OF THE GAME honey!

This is someone who, up until a week and a half ago, no one knew anything about. And now she's poised to take over the second most important job in our country...and we don't have the right to know anything and everything about her?
She's sensitive to the media and the public questioning her experience, when any responsible "employer" or recruiter for any job would thoroughly review and inspect her RESUME.

Male politicians have been dealing with that shit since the beginning of time. If we want women in the White House, we have to impose the same standards and practices on them that we do on the mens. It's only fair.

Equality is Equality- not equality when it is convenient.

How many male politicians running for the White House, or who have been in the White House, have had to endure the spotlight on their personal lives via the media? How badly do all of them get scrutinized and studied under a microscope, and questioned and criticized and speculated about, not only as politicians, but as MEN and as husbands and as fathers?

If she wants to play in what has been traditionally a game of the Big Boys, she needs to own up and take it like the men who have done it before her. If she can dish it, which is has proven she is more than capable of doing, she needs to be willing to TAKE it too. If she really "whooped the good ol' boys" then she doesn't have anything to worry about then, does she?

This isn't governing the 48th least populated state in the nation- this is becoming the right hand (wo)man to the leader of the free world.

She is getting all of this credit for being a mother of 5 and having a special needs baby- which is great, and is relatable to American women- but why, on the other hand, don't more MALE politicians get hailed more for being fathers and balancing work and family?

Certain media (ahem~ FOX NEWS) and McCain/Palin supporters are whining, "Oh, stop picking on Sarah Palin and her family," when really, that comes with the territory. This isn't anything new- they aren't special. She thrust her family and all of their issues into the public eye the moment she accepted that nomination.

Pregnant, unwed teenage daughter when you are part of a party who is opposed to sex education and contraceptives and abortion? Of course people are going to talk about it and it's going to be an issue.

Utilizing the condition of your special needs infant as part of your platform in any way, shape or form? Of course people are going to talk about it and it's going to be an issue.

When you throw down your role as a mother as an underlying basis of your platform be prepared for that role to go under the microscope, if that's what your building your character on. I would expect the same from any man crying something like "Integrity" to have his integrity as a man/husband/father put under speculation if he chooses to make it something he builds his character on.

Palin wants the media to stay out of her private life, when, if elected, she plans to help McCain overturn Roe vs. Wade, making her the co-captain of a government that will invade the private lives of ALL AMERICAN WOMEN by retaining control over our reproductive rights.


Friday, August 29, 2008

Vice President Sarah Palin

Sure, McCain.

A conservative gun toting, former beauty queen/sports reporter who is opposed to Choice and same sex marriage is REALLY going to appeal to Hillary Clinton supporters...I mean I guess she might to SOME who strictly don't want to see a man of color in office...but not to the Hillary Clinton supporters who really grasped her issues and what all she actually stands for.


Looks like you really did your research there guy. You must be under the misconception that all women and feminists just want to see a woman break through that glass ceiling, based solely on the fact that that woman has a vagina. This is not the case- but I thank you for being such an out of touch moron to believe so. You just did us a favor.

You want to take hits at Obama for being young and "inexperienced" with foreign policy? It's going to be a BLAST seeing you win that argument now that your VP running mate is not only 3 years junior to Obama, but whose only experience lies in mayoring/governing the 48th least populous states in the nation. As Kassie said, Joe Biden is going to eat that poor woman for breakfast in a debate. It's actually pretty sad.

One would think that you would understand that Americans, including your own supporters, understand that if your old ass has a stroke or croaks while in office, we would all be left in the hands of a new term Alaskan governor whose educational background simply includes a BA in journalism...

Not to knock my own degree, but come on. I would know. We journalists are in no way qualified to be running a fucking country...and she wasn't even a journalist per say...she was a SPORTS REPORTER.

oh- ~tear~ what a hoot.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cigarettes and Whiskey

Had a dream last night about cigarettes and whiskey. The cigarettes I can see, but whiskey? I haven't been much of a whiskey drinker since high school. Gin? Maybe, but I would have thought that I'd of been dreaming of beautifully sweating pints of frothy German beer.

I woke up wondering if it's the actual cigarettes and whiskey that I miss, or if it's what the cigarettes and whiskey REPRESENT that I miss. Then when I really think about it, I don't believe that I actually miss any of it, which is strange to me, because I was convinced that I would.

I don't miss smelling like an ashtray and I don't miss waking up in the morning with a chest full of tar, stinky hair and a headache. I don't miss peeling myself off of my bed and wondering what exactly I ran my mouth off about the night before. I don't miss not remembering taking the pictures that fill my camera or where an impressive collection of bruises on my legs came from.

Maybe my subconscious misses what the cigarettes and whiskey represent: youth, feeling indestructible, and a complete lack of understanding an entirely new world of responsibility and obligation...the kind of awareness I couldn't even grasp for myself, let alone another person...or two.

While out for Kassie's birthday the other night, Taylor was nursing his second large beer with dinner. I asked him if he was going to finish it and he shrugged and said, "Nah- it's no fun drinking without you. You're fun to drink with."

I thought that was sweet.

It made me realize to a new extent that he and I are no longer 21 and out to consume everything in our paths...which we obviously haven't been 21 in several years, and obviously we still have plenty of years ahead of us to have beers together and the occasional smoke...

But it was when he said that that my mind veered off into entirely new direction in concerns to the drink: the beer chugging and shot taking and late night after bar pow-wowing have already ceased to exist and they're not coming least not in the same context as they once were in. Poof. It's all a lot heavier to settle in for me as time flies by.

My mind has been doing a lot of that lately and it's the kind of analyzing sparked by a natural high that is better than anything aided by physical substance. It's amazing and addicting and more satisfying than anything a cigarette or whiskey drink has to offer...with the added bonus of being hangover free.

It's quite a shift to go from years of abusing my body to the opposite- now spending all of my waking hours trying to preserve it and keep it healthy because there are two other people who are constantly on my mind whose well-beings and happiness and regards I hold before my own...because they depend on me and need me.

Being married rules. Starting a family rules. Getting old RULES.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

OKC Phallic War

So OKC will have the 54th tallest building in the world, come 2012. This new Devon skyscraper is going to be ridiculously massive, "eclipsing" downtown's existing tallest building- the Chase Tower.

This glittering new pillar of male phallic symbolism will be the shining middle finger of Downtown OKC, dwarfing everything surrounding it, compliments of Devon Energy Corp. How long will it take after its erection for corporations such as, oh, Chesapeake Energy Corporation, to say "Hey, I have a big dick too! I need a huge tower to show the state who the big man in Oklahoma is! Me too! Me too!"

And then they will all start popping up- a perpetual hard-on-a-thon for the Metro.

I'll bet the big heads down at Devon are stroking their egos right now at the sight of their titanic masterpiece in the making. Yikes. I nearly choked on my apple juice when I saw these pictures. Can we HANDLE it Oklahoma? Can we?

Business Week article:Devon Skyscraper.

The only cities with taller buildings would be Chicago, New York, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Houston, Philadelphia, Cleveland and Seattle.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Pineapple Express

Can I PLEASE get that hour and a half of my life back???? PLEEEEEASE? I'm sorry to all of you who liked that movie, or who will go on to see it and think it's "awesome." I can't hold back. I want my $5.50 back (thank goodness for Tinseltown or I'd of wasted an additional 3 or 4 bucks on scriptual vomit).

I didn't care to see Pineapple Express in the first place- you know, after that impressive trailer they've been airing and all ( entire movie about Seth Rogan getting high? THAT'S new), but Taylor wanted to go so I went. Half of me went in willing to give it a chance (James Franco is kind of cute), and the other half knows my taste too well to expect too much.

Let me say this: I laughed more in 3 minutes at the trailer for "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" than I did throughout the entire duration of Pineapple Express.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a good stoner flick if it is cleverly written, but I am SO over the fart and balls humor that is the specialty of Judd Apatow. Can Seth Rogan play ANYTHING that doesn't involve him embodying an overweight, slacker, underachieving burn out who, in case he doesn't make it clear enough in his movies, LOVES to smoke weed?

By the way, Seth Rogan LOVES to smoke weed. Did you know that? Did you know that Seth Rogan loves to smoke weed? Well, just to set the record straight, Seth Rogan LOVES to smoke weed.

In my opinion, a good stoner flick should have more than just the element of "Dude I'm so stoned all the fucking time." Believe it or not, not all people who smoke pot want to be dazzled with a script that requires them to tap into mental retardation for entertainment.

I personally don't believe that an entire movie based on getting stoned and smoking weed is funny- with the rare case of movies like the Big Lebowski or Dazed and Confused. There are plenty of funny movies out there where the stories involve smoking weed...but the good ones always have more going on than simply that.

Seeing people get high in movies is entertaining when used in moderation- like a spice- as a part of a bigger and more interesting plot, but my attention span for watching movies whose sole mission is to glorify being a brain dead stoner lasts about 5 minutes.

Cheech and Chong, Half Baked, Pineapple Express...Even in my more burnt out slacker days as a teenager, I still couldn't sit through an entire Cheech and Chong movie, and the summer after high school when the "party spot" had Half Baked in the VCR (yes, VCR) every fucking night for three months straight, I thought I might have to kill myself.

Watching a bunch of burnt out losers whose sole mission in life is to get high gets old SO fast. I was bored and half asleep less than halfway into Pineapple Express. I think it started with the whole montage of Seth Rogan and James Franco geeking out and acting like jack asses in the woods after smoking a joint the size of a tampon.

Oh, and I'm sorry, but in the fantasy land of Seth Rogan dating a pretty blonde 16 year-old high school girl and selling weed to kids on a playground isn't funny- it's fucking sick. The one saving grace was that James Franco is pretty cute, BUT- in this movie, his dirty, ashes for brains, loveable pot dealing persona reminded me too much of some of the burnt out slackers I used to "date" in my less formidable years: cute, but like communicating with a Chia Pet who could get me high for free.

If this says anything about the kind of humor Pineapple Express, the plethora of obnoxious teenagers sitting four rows behind us who spent the entire movie laughing like idiot hyenas and cheering every time a huge sack of fluffy buds came on screen (which was a lot, by the way) actually "whoop whooped" and APPLAUDED at the end of this movie. APPLAUDED, as if having just witnessed the most beautiful piece of film they'd ever seen. APPLAUDED, as if wiping a single tear from their cheek, suddenly inspired and moved to go out into the world and find spiritual enlightenment.

Perhaps it was that moving and inspirational to some...and the spiritual enlightenment that they would seek would be that of a holy cross/crucifix triple smoke joint a la Pineapple Express (which honestly was pretty innovative, but you'll have to see the movie to see what I'm talking about).

Another cult classic has been born and thus will cultivate future generations of lazy couch potatoe'ing potheads in the years to come.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Taking Lemons and Making Lemon Drop Shots...NonAlcoholic Lemon Drop Shots, that is...

So the trip to Key West went bunk and I'm trying to figure out what to do with the time off I set aside for vacation...and boy do I need a vacation. I'm taking one anyways, even if it means staying at home alone for a few days (while Taylor is out of town and at Lake Texoma...sorry, but hanging out on a boat at a lake in 100 degree heat while everyone around you gets shit faced drunk is not my idea of FUN right fact, it sounds like HELL). I haven't taken any time off since December, when we went on that cruise. Since that cruise, literally since the day we returned, my life has been a circus.

Not a bad scary clown circus, but a circus none the less. Moving into a new house during an ice storm with no electricity, the holidays (which are stressful for most people!), finding out we were pregnant, Taylor getting a new job that requires him to work out of town a lot, finding out we lost the baby, recovering mentally and emotionally from losing the baby, going a little nuts from losing the baby and suffering a mild identity crisis while living in another city away from immediate family and close friends, completely gutting and renovating the entire downstairs floor of our new house, finding out we are pregnant again and spending the first trimester sick as shit for three months while living amongst the chaos of renovating our new house and having no kitchen....

I also "lost" a very close and dear friend of mine during all of that commotion, for stupid reasons that still baffle me. I think, despite my defensive and indifferent front, that has stressed me out a lot more than I like to believe and let on. I've cut loose friends in the past for being assholes, but this particular friend's exit from my life has hurt me more than any of the others ever have. But I've learned that you can't get sucked into other people's neurosis and you can't fall "victim" into allowing yourself to be a punching bag for other people's issues. Some people can't be helped or saved or reasoned with without making you a glutton for punishment on their behalf. It's not healthy. Some friendships just expire, and like with love relationships, "break ups" with people you are closest to HURT. It's unfortunate, but I really believe that the entire situation had a big affect on the way I view friendship and how many eggs I feel comfortable placing in anyone else's basket, so to speak. I wouldn't say I'm crippled and damaged, but definitely even more guarded and has really made me reevaluate what (I believe) it means to be a "friend." One thing I've learned is to lower expectations...lower them waaaaay down. Whittle them down to next to nothing. Sometimes I guess you have to or people will continually disappoint you, and that just creates unwanted, unneeded stress....and who needs more stress?

I think some people get mistaken into thinking that just because people get married and try to start a family and kick "domestic" life into full swing, their worlds become all peaches and cream and sunshine 24/ their stress factor becomes anything less important or significant than theirs might be. Stress doesn't discriminate and it is distributed equally for everyone in different forms. Stress never goes away, it just evolves and turns into new kinds of stress. How we handle it and grow to adapt to how we deal with it makes all the difference.

Shoving all of that brain clutter of mine aside, I've been making an extra big effort to try to deflect stress from my world and I'm really trying not to let anything bring me down. I think of it as "cleaning house." Now is not the time to dwell on negativity and sweat the small stuff, but it can be quite an internal struggle for someone who is hard-wired to sweat the small stuff and dwell on cynicism. Old habits die hard, but I firmly believe that my attitude and vibe and well-being and ability to filter out the bullshit that comes at me has an impact on how my baby will be hard-wired. Every second of every day, I'm working to keep light of situations. I'm learning to recycle the "noise" and "garbage" and walk away having gained better insight, adamantly trying avoid anything that might upset me. It's really so amazing what someone whom you haven't even met yet can do to enrich and better your life. When I start to feel anxious and up in arms, I just meditate on Taylor's and my little "gift" and focus on all that is good in my life. No thing and no one else matters.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Team Jolie

I found myself immersed in an interesting conversation the other evening, while stuffing wedding invitations for my best friend. It's interesting the kind of chatter that comes about when you get a group of women together who don't know one another all that well.

It's foreign territory for me~ I rarely find myself socializing with more than one or two females- and when I do, those females are pretty much always my best friends- that is, of course, unless there is drinking involved.

It's once in a blue moon that it is a gathering of sober females and sober conversation... and the curious thing was that I don't believe the group of females I was sitting with individually do it often either- sober or not, I believe this group to have been a group that, like me, rarely finds themselves in groups of other women to chat.

Anyways, the conversation somehow come about to a "discussion" about Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston...a debate that I've noticed always divides certain kinds of women from one another: it's always particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Aniston" and particular kinds of chicks who are on "Team Jolie." Although I love Jennifer Aniston on "Friends," I personally am an Angelina fan. Jennifer Aniston is OK, but I think she's plain and boring and one-dimensional as anything other than playing Rachel Green. She's a romantic comedy princess...and I'm not a romantic comedy kind of girl. YAWN.

Angelina is interesting and aggressive and edgy. She makes action movies and films that are more mysterious and exciting...thus, making her more mysterious and exciting and complicated. She's an action heroine. Jennifer Aniston could NEVER have pulled off sociopath Lisa in "Girl Interrupted." And that sums up why I prefer Angelina to Jennifer. I prefer eccentrics and outcasts over your run of the mill cookie cutters any day.

But I don't really see any celebrity as actual human beings or people. They are as fictitious to me as they characters they portray in movies or on TV. No one, besides their immediate spouses, friends, family and personal acquaintances, actually knows what kind of people celebrities really are...and it's hilarious when I hear people talk about them like they do.

My mother does this with Angelina Jolie. My brother and I call her "Team Jolie" because she just thinks she's the most interesting, beautiful, exotic, awesome celebrity in the world. She loves her philanthropic work and her choice to adopt children, among other things. She doesn't see her as the bitch that stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, America's Sweetheart.

One of the "Team Anistons" at the wedding invitation stuffing gathering insisted that Jennifer Aniston is "such a sweetheart" and that Angelina Jolie is a home wrecker. Most of the other "Team Anistons" agreed whole heartedly. I always find this perspective to be amusing, because the chicks who always side with Aniston talk as if she is one of their girlfriends, and seem to take the entire Jennfier/Brad/Angelina thing so personally.

As if they spent nights consoling poor Jennifer during her split from Brad and personally have experienced her All-American "sweetness." How does anyone really know if Jennifer Aniston is the sweetheart that the media paints her to be? Maybe she's a huge pain in the ass bitch in real-life. Maybe she is so utterly lacking in personality that Brad got so incredibly bored with the mundane life he'd gotten himself into that he was about to lose his mind if he didn't find something more stimulating and fulfilling.

Strictly on the surface, he got a hell of a lot more interesting once he got together with Angelina, that's for sure. He went from glitzy pretty boy Hollywood cookie cutter with Aniston to globe trotting, philanthropic attempting-to-better-the-world with his fame father of internationally adopted children with Jolie. It looks to me like he want more in life than just walking the red carpet and playing Ken and Barbie.

Who knows. All I know is that it takes two to tango, two to make a relationship work or fail. And not only that, but who fucking cares? Angelina, Brad and Jennifer are all mythological creatures who exist on the silver screen. They aren't even real.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Feeling a Tad Vain Today

Thinking today about personal style and I how I am going to adjust my wardrobe to accommodate my progressively expanding preggo bod. I don't believe it's going to be as big of a transition as I thought it might be however. I have never been into clingy revealing clothing as it is, mind the occasional tight baby t-shirt or butt-hugging jeans when feeling extra sassy for a night out.

I'm finding myself adjusting to my growing tummy quite nicely considering I've always preferred the flowy, mid-drift hiding tops anyways. My mid-section has never been my most flattering area, obviously. I blame it on my addiction to white rice and avid refusal to do partake in stomach toning physical activity. It has always been worth the sacrifice, in my opinion, to enjoy my white rice and absence of stress from worry of having toned abs. I had other assets to work in my favor that didn't really require me to try and there is nothing that a little strategic clothing choices couldn't hide.

But it is quite unnerving to realize that the one part of your body you have always been the most self-conscious about in the first place has now become the focal point of your entire physical existence...and people want to come up and poke and touch it. This is frustrating and makes me want to swipe at them like an angry cat.

A) Because I don't believe that pregnancy makes a woman suddenly public property
B) Most of my "bump" is just a protective layer of fat (PLOF) that has developed to keep my little fetus safe until it actually grows bigger than a shrimp or lime or whatever food item wants to call it right now.

I'm happy with the sundresses I've been wearing. They do a most excellent job of making my PLOF look more like a cute little baby bump (which IS there, but slowly peeking out from the PLOF) than just a gut. In fact, that's ALL I care to wear. I'm only at the end of my first trimester and I've only worn pants once in the last 3 weeks. I just may never wear them again.

I'm really working on establishing an artillery of clothing that does not require me to wear pants for as long as humanly possible, and also reviving my collection of accessories, which to me is the most important part of any wardrobe anyways. I LOVE my accessories...especially my sunglasses. I think that a woman's sunglasses are some of the most important investments she can have in regards to what she wears.

I mean, if my face is inevitably going to get round and go "moon pie" (as my mother calls it) with pregnancy weight gain, then damn it, I'm going to make sure that I have some kick ass eye wear to make sure it is cute.

I've never been one for designer labels...but I must admit that I am a pretentious eye wear snob. I think that comes with the territory though, after spending 5 years managing a Sunglass Hut and selling designer sunglasses. Once you've owned a pair of Prada or Versace or Ray Bans or Maui Jims...well, you just don't go back.

You could wear an outfit consisting of items straight off of bargain racks (which is the first place I zero in on in a store) and give it a whole new life with a sweet pair of designer shades...and on the flip side, you could wear all the designer labels you want on your body, but if you are sporting cheap, knock of sunglasses the outfit immediately is WACK.

I'm sorry, but cheap knock off sunglasses are one of my biggest pet peeves and I hate the excuse of, "Oh, I'm not spending that much on a pair of sunglasses that I am just going to break or lose." How about you just take care of your shit instead?

Hello! It's your FACE- that's the most important part of your body. What you wear everywhere else is just an afterthought if you ask me. Designer sunglasses are the one item that you can get away with wearing with everything you own, because they can go with everything you own.

Not only that, but wearing crappy cheapos can fuck up your eyes- think about it. You get one set of eyeballs...your tools for VISION. Why would you want to look around through cheap plastic lenses that aren't even optically correct, therefore slowly distorting your eyesight over the years and causing you to have to prematurely wear bifocals because you were too cheap to invest in quality eye wear in your younger days?

People need to get a clue. As someone who has worn glasses since I was 7, I can appreciate protecting my baby browns as best I can, since I already can't see for shit without the help of contacts and spectacles.

I'm getting a pair of Burberrys tomorrow and I'm SO excited. It's like getting a new pet!

Friday, June 20, 2008

McCain's Family Values

I've had way too much down time today at work, giving me extra time to catch up on my reading.

Earlier this week I read that California (tentative, really, until November) is now currently legally marrying gays and lesbians. I think that is great. I am particularly sensitive to this subject considering one of my sister in-laws is a lesbian and has a life partner whom I am very fond of. I would love nothing more than to see more progress for them and their ability to be recognized as equal citizens in this country in every way- especially LOVE.

I don't understand why some people believe that they have the right to go around preaching that the "sanctity of marriage" will be destroyed if gay people should be able to marry...considering that straight people in this country have been working diligently to tarnish that definition for years. The divorce rate in this country is a flippin' joke and it amazes me the hypocrisy of so many who commit adultery and who have treated marriage like some sort of disposable luxury to try on and discard as they please.

I guess I just get pissed when I see people like John McCain trying to sit on a high horse of morality when it comes to family values, when his own family values and politics are so ass backwards and hypocritical.

I mean, in my book, a man who cheats on and leaves his wife for a another woman (a wealthy woman 17 years his junior at that) is nothing but a huge scumbag ...and that goes visa versa for women who cheat on their husbands, by the way...and then, even slimier, in true politician form, tries to make it "ok" by admitting to have been entirely at fault for the whole thing, as if that changes anything.

I don't believe that an adulterer can legitimately enforce "traditional marriage" as if he is in any way in a position to be dictating moral authority.

Read all about his "family values" in the links below- then remember them the next time he speaks of the "sanctity of marriage."

Traditional Marriage.

McCain's Marriage History.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Food Monster

Everyone keeps asking me, "Are you craving anything special now that you are pregnant?"

Oh yes. Yes I am. I am craving, like a ravenous starving animal, HOME COOKED MEALS. I don't care what it is, so long as it comes off a pan or out of a pot from someone's stove top. Or even a frozen pizza from someone's oven. Leftovers from someone else's previously cooked home cooked meal, a grilled cheese sandwich, even Ramen fucking noodles...I don't care. It doesn't have to be fancy. Even a simple pot of white rice would suffice. I want to walk into a kitchen and smell food cooking. I want to grocery shop for all of the meals I will make for the week. I want to come home from work and make dinner the way that I want it!

It's been 2 and a half months now since breaking ground on our house remodel, and I am about to lose my fucking mind from having no kitchen. No living room, I can handle. But no kitchen? It has been the most inconvenient, pain in the ass, eye-opening experience of my domestic life as a wife...and as a girlfriend, individual and overall human being. I was OK throughout the first month or so...then voila!

I am pregnant and food has become the center of the world in which I exist...being nauseated is worse when your only options for food is take out...which has officially become disgusting and utterly unacceptable to me.

For the ladies out there who choose both not to cook for themselves and for their significant other, I am shaking my head. I am confused, because I have learned that, while having no kitchen access for the first time in my life, the only alternative to not cooking your own food is to GO TAKE OUT. WHY would anyone, on a daily basis, voluntarily pay to ingest rehydrated frozen meat patties and other ingredients all shipped in bulk, doused and dipped in grease and slid down an assembly line?

BARF BARF and MORE BARF. How people are satisfied with surviving off of generic meals made to order on a day to day basis just baffles the hell out of me. Even- especially- sit-down restaurant food. It's all "cooked" and prepared by strangers with their mystery germs and habits and kitchen heat sweat handling what you are going to put in your mouth...(DRY HEAVE).

I can't take it anymore! Even carefully selecting the "healthiest" options on any given menu is still just the lesser of the same evil. I would sooner not eat than have to spend one more penny on take out. I can feel what that food is doing to my body and how it is affecting me. NONE of it sounds even remotely appetizing- it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I have had "morning sickness" for the past four weeks straight, but I think that it is mostly a product of what I have been forced to consume. My body isn't used to eating CRAP every day- and although I have a very robust appetite, I am a pretty healthy eater for the most part.

Perhaps this is because I grew up in a household where there was always a home cooked meal on the table, even if it was just mac and cheese with fish sticks and a can of peas(on evenings when mom was particularly tired). Mom was a workaholic, highly decorated military administrator who got up for work at 5 a.m. every day, came home around 6 p.m. or later, once a month clocked 14 straight days with no day off (UTA weekends on base) and STILL managed to always cook my brother and I nutritious, well-balanced meals at the end of the day.

Eating fast food or going out to a restaurant was a rarity in my household- a TREAT reserved for special occasions only a couple of times a year.

Yes, I am bragging on my mamasan- but she more than deserves it. I have more appreciation for her and her dedication to putting food made with love on the table than I ever have before. I am even more convinced that I have the greatest mother on the planet. Her face should be painted onto cathedrals, she should be hoisted onto a golden throne and fanned by the wings of angels for what she does. GOD I would kill to be in her kitchen right now, watching her slice and dice and chop and mix and work her magic on the stove...

I know that if Taylor and I lived in Norman, or if she lived in City, while all of this is going on, she would have us over every single evening to eat home cooked dinners. We have been going down to Norman once a week and those evenings have seriously become the saving grace and highlight of my life. Knowing that I get to eat mom's food is what keeps me going all week.

Call me a brat, but I am disappointed that in the almost 3 months since of being kitchenless, Taylor and I have not been invited over for more home cooked meals by the people in our life (although I do appreciate the very few who have and have been consistent about it!). I would do it for them in a heart beat...but then again, I actually enjoy cooking and feeding people. I am learning that not everyone shares that interest. I guess this is because the majority of people that we know don't cook like I do and that makes me sad. What a waste of perfectly good kitchens all over the land.

I went to a set of in-law's house the other night, armed with a box of macaroni and cheese. They aggressively tried to sway me into joining them in going to a Mexican restaurant (which I do appreciate the invite always!), but I just couldn't do it. I was about to cry I wanted that box of mac and cheese so badly I was shaking,

"Just please, for the love of GOD let me make and eat this 69 cent box of macaroni! It's the only thing on this Earth that I will eat right now!"

They never use their kitchen, so it helps that they live up the street for me to come and crash it every now and then- put it to use until I get my own back.

This will all be worth it in the long run, I know. Supposedly we only have another 2 weeks or so until the kitchen will be up and running...and when that happens, we have made a pact to not eat out again for the rest of the year...maybe EVER.

I know that once the baby comes my life will be more hectic, but if my mom could pull off the amazing feat as a wife and mother that is cooking for her family on a daily basis, I know that I will be able to too!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Curiouser, and Curiouser

Each semester, including summer session, I have to study and break down the demographics for the university that I work at for press releases announcing enrollment trends.

It sounds boring, but it really isn't. I think it's kind of interesting- especially when you start noticing trends within gender, race and age.

For example, I believe that by now the entire country is aware of the fact that women outnumber men in their numbers of full-time enrolled college/university students, and college/university graduates. Yes, folks. This means that more women than men are going to college. This means that the majority of the female American population is in fact smarter and more educated than American men.

It has been a consistent trend over the past 10 years, not just in Oklahoma, but nationally. Almost twice as many females as males attend university and graduate with a 4-year degree. My institution alone is 63%/36% women/men, and it hasn't really budged an inch in difference since 2004. That's just in 4 years. Think about how huge that difference has become since, oh, the early 1900s...before women could even vote for her president.

What's even more interesting, and disheartening, is that even with this overwhelmingly large gap of women choosing to pursue higher education over men, females are still only making about 77 CENTS TO THE DOLLAR of what a man makes in the work force.

There are statistically more college educated women going out into professional careers, yet we still have a pathetically large gap in our wages. How sad is that? I've heard some douche bag guys comment on how that gap has come such a long ways and how women should be happy with our "progress"...

Really? So we should be satisfied to be called equal citizens but get paid significantly less than a man doing the same work? In what delusional world does that work?

By the way, for anyone who isn't aware, Obama seems to be the only presidential candidate (now that Hilary is out of course) who seems concerned at all about women's issues, such as equal pay for women, the freedom to rule over own bodies and other RELEVANT ISSUES THAT AFFECT WOMEN EVERY DAY.

He is also the one who has actually made improving women's issues an issue of his campaign. If you have a vagina and/or care about the future of your future/existing daughters, read HERE.

His opponent, John McCain (Old Man Withers as I like to call him) is,

..."offering independent and Democratic women the unconventional pitch that his policy prescriptions for economic, health-care and environmental issues trump such traditional issues as equal pay, abortion rights and contraception coverage."

This appeasing bullshit to me says that the man isn't concerned enough about women's issues to squeeze any aspect of it into his campaign...leaving him "free" not to touch the issues in a way that overtly say what he really means, "Your concerns as a woman are not important and I don't care to take the time or effort to go there."

...."Except I WILL work to overturn Roe vs. Wade and keep your wage gap wide open." <- (OK, so he didn't actually say that, but that's what he intends to do, minus the blatant wage gap part...but avoiding the issue completely is saying precisely that!).

He's that old white man politician from a cob webbed, dusty old generation where women's issues, civil rights and equal rights were at one time scoffed at and resisted by a large chunk of his demographic. Looks to me like his old ass is still living in an era where the "little woman" should be at home making babies, cleaning house and keeping her mouth shut.

Read more about what Old Man Withers has to say about such topics in the following article:

Obama/McCain Women's Issues.

Perhaps the startling realities of gender, college education and wage earnings are what is causing the decline in the number of men choosing to go to college...

Maybe more and more of them are discovering that if they have half a brain and some ambition/motivation, they don't even need to go to college to go out into the real world and get a good paying job. Maybe they are figuring out that they will STILL get paid more money than a woman applying for the same position, so why bother enduring the time, effort and hassle of pursuing higher education?

Maybe if the tables were turned, and suddenly THEY were the ones getting paid less for the same work, they might feel more inclined to excel at university so that they feel more confident in their chances of getting a good paying job should they be put in the position to contend with the opposite gender who holds an advantage because of the junk they were born with.

Perhaps enough of them (particularly white men) are confident in the fact that since the birth of this nation, their commander in chief has always been "one of them" and is on their team, so they don't feel as if they have to compete with women for jobs or be concerned about making anything less than SIGNIFICANTLY MORE than what the other gender or races gets paid...

...then again, most college guys don't enroll in courses that would school them on this kind of information, and the majority of them as far as I know don't care to actively pursue this kind of information...and the information isn't exactly out there for everyone to be forced to acknowledge like it should when they hear it from someone like me, they feel threatened and go on the defense and see me as some kind of "Feminazi" radical who likes to bash men, when in all reality, what does it hurt them to know the truth? They have mothers and sisters and daughters and girlfriends and females friends that they care about, so you'd think they'd take it seriously.

...but then again, if less and less guys are going to college, the chances of them learning this information gets even slimmer, so most guys are most likely just ignorant to women's issues anyways- and choose to put their ear muffs on when people like me talk about it so that they may remain happily out of the loop.

I don't know. This is all just speculation. It isn't man hating or men bashing or "feminazi" is just a woman with a college degree, out in the workforce, wondering the ways of the world that she lives in and speculating on the facts and issues that affect her life and that of her unborn daughters...mentally chewing on facts and issues which can not be denied and should not be swept under a rug....

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


How cute is THIS:


A little deer with a single horn in the middle of its head has been discovered in Italy...and it has been nick named "Unicorn." Um, is it just me or could they have been a little more creative? I mean, obviously it embodies the mythological unicorn creature's defining characteristic...and that's the point. It's like naming a cat "Kitty." A little redundant if you ask me.

And this is UNICORN territory we're talking about here, people. That's serious business.

If I had a little deer with a unicorn horn I would name it something like Moonstone or Powder, via My Little Pony (surely some of you also had the My Little Pony unicorns?!).

I guess this little guy is a deer, and not a horse- but still. Little discoveries like this unicorn deer keep me young in believing that there are magical things out there to spark imaginations.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Happiness is...

...a plate of macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with gravy. No meat. No veggies. Just carbolicious goodness. I am thinking that I could eat this meal every day for the next 7 or so months. My baby is going to be born craving macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes from the womb.

By the way, for those who do not know yet, I am pregnant. It feels good to finally let that cat out of the bag without fear of having to grab it by its tail and yank it back into said bag.

We went and got our first ultrasound for this pregnancy last week, and much to our relief, the little Taylor Tot has a nice strong world has become a happier, brighter, amazing place to be.

I am vowing not to bitch and complain about any remote aspect of my pregnancy. I might make observations and note sentiments as they come, but I keep reminding myself of how fortunate I am to be carrying this baby.

I'm also not going to let myself turn this blog into the "baby blog," although I'm sure there will be plenty to note and discuss as I venture further down this pregnant road.

One thing, for example, is how much more Taylor and I are starting to notice and take notes on the misbehavior of small children in restaurants. I am amazed at how many parents refuse to control their children in public places.

My friend Brian at work believes this to be because too many parents these days go out of their way to make their kids feel as if they are the world's most "special snowflakes" who are incapable of doing anything wrong- therefore, too many screaming, undisciplined brats are running ramped in a restaurant near you.

I pointed this out to a coworker today at an office lunch at Old Chicago pizza. She laughed and said that when her daughter was young, she and a bunch of other mothers would take their tribe of small children out to eat and let them roam free to have "fun" and move around...and that it was funny how it seemed like so many of them wound up going out of business soon after.

???? Funny? I think not. She was THAT lady.

I see a lot of parents who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk...and even when they talk the talk they don't really MEAN it. It's more of a, "Billy, NO. Don't do that. Anyways, so like I was saying...blah blah blah" while Billy and his sister are running laps around the table, crawling under chairs and bringing surrounding patrons that much closer to slapping a stranger's child.

We heard a kid in the restaurant scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" to his mother, followed by the kind of wailing and howling that could quite possibly drive one to insanity if exposed for too long.

My mom used to let me get away that kind of temper tantrum throwing when I was little. My aunts still tease me about it. I don't remember that though...all I remember is the gut feeling of terror of pissing my dad off in the same scenario and being the most behaved small person to ever grace a booster seat.

That's what kids need. Note to self: Dad's strategy worked the best.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Happy Tuesday!

Today is a good day...Go Obama!


Monday, June 2, 2008

Oh Johnny...

I watched the MTV Movie Awards for the first time in many many years last night. My interest was sparked because Mike Meyers was hosting, and I just love me some Mike Meyers.

It wasn't so bad- a lot more of the heavy hitting A-list stars made appearances than I believe they have over the past X number of years. This is because the awards show is really nothing but an excuse for these stars to shamelessly promote their new movies, but whatever. The presence makes it more worth watching, no doubt.

Johnny Depp even made an appearance- much to my delight/surprise.

Sweet mother of GOD he looked good.

It's unfortunate though, that he had to rock the douche factor that is being too good to sit in the audience with the rest of the celebrities. I don't think he came swaggering out smackin' gum from backstage because it was a surprise appearance...I believe him to be so utterly aware and proud of his own existence that he felt he was too good to sit amongst the rest. When he came out of nowhere to accept the first award (Best Comedic Performance), I didn't think anything of it.

The second time he came out from backstage to accept the Best Villain award, I found myself crinkling my nose. "Oh Johnny..." He was probably watching the show in his own posh little private room where he was "safe" from sitting next to the likes of Paris Hilton, P-Diddy, Lindsey Lohan and the cast of High School Musical.

I have to agree with him though, in all of his egotistical glory: Johnny Depp really is too good to share space with those (particular) wastes of space.

Johnny Depp suddenly strutting out onto the stage like an aloof, indifferent black cat in a dark alleyway...MEOW. He was the cherry on the movie awards because you never really see his France-living ass anymore in the States.

He's an untouchable. He didn't say much when he accepted his awards and seemed pretty removed from the entire event, but we have to acknowledge the fact that the whole elusive, untouchable thing is one of the biggest appealing things about him.

He's that guy you can not have but are left secretly pining over for all of your days remaining on Earth. He's the long lost junior high school crush whom if you should randomly see him at a restaurant a decade later you still get tongue tied and red in the face, and your heart falls into your feet and your core is rocked for days...all you can do is think, "You asshole."

He's that guy that the 14 year-old in you falls back against her locker with her books clutched against her chest, catching her breath when he walks by.

Even if only on t.v., an actual Johnny Depp sighting outside of one of his films is one of those things that can stop your mental traffic and cause wrecks in your train of thinking for at least a day or two.

I thank him tremendously for this distraction right now.

~le SIGH~

Friday, May 30, 2008

More Sex and the City

Feeling Catty so than usual? Maybe not. Actually, I guess I'm just feeling particularly like myself today. Go figure.

Sex and the City the movie came out today, but I am still battling the urge to watch it.

I am not finding myself feeling compelled to rush out and see it in the movie theater. This is surprising to me. I figured that once one of my favorite shows was released on the big screen, I would flock to be one of the first to see it. The build over the past few months has burned me out I think. I think the hype and hoopla has made the entire experience too cliche and my psyche is resisting it.

There is a scene in the trailer where Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha are toasting Cosmos. One of them asks, "These are fabulous! Why did we stop drinking these?"

And Carrie says, "Because everyone else started drinking them."

That is a pretty accurate way to describe how I feel I guess. Oh TBS- you and your heavily edited/censored syndicated SATC reruns...God, I know I should get over myself and my authoritative attitude about this movie...but I'm just not gonna. The biggest fans are the most critical of what they choose to be Super Fans wouldn't do the show justice if I weren't skeptical.

The impatient bitch in me is really what is preventing me from fighting the crowds this weekend, though. I have to really be DYING to face the mob on the opening weekend of the newest big movie to be released. I find myself too easily irritated by overcrowded movie theaters...all of those people scattered about with their infinite annoying's overwhelming. I can't take it. My mind goes into overdrive, and this scenario would be particularly overwhelming since I've quit smoking again.

I'm the kind of person to get annoyed when I hear someone eating their popcorn too loudly or scraping their straw up and down the lid of their drink to swish around their ice (CREEEAAAK-CREEAAAAAK, crunch crunch, swish swish, SLURP...repeat...GRRRRR!), or getting distracted by flocks of younger girls sitting together flapping their jaws at one another and giggling. If someone opens their cell phone six rows ahead of me to check a text message, I will notice and feel put out by the light it gives off. I can't help it. I inherited it from my dad.

I have a ridiculously short fuse and there is nothing I can do about it.

I already get aggravated enough by girls in groups larger than two or three (for the most part, unless they are my own friends at least), and as much as I love Sex and the City, the idea of voluntarily paying $9 to put myself in a huge shared space to watch a chick flick is a total turn off.

Sex and the City is one of my few girlie indulgences (next to sundresses and Jane Austin novels/film adaptations...shhhh), and I prefer to enjoy it from the comfort and solitude of my house, on my t.v., by myself. Films, in my opinion, are also notorious for butchering and tarnishing a good thing by making iconic small screen shows into weak movies, so I am already hesitant to see it in the first place...

I'll admit, I DO want to see it, but would much prefer to wait until next week and go see it on a Tuesday night late showing to avoid the masses. I mean, it's not like there are any surprises that I am just dying to know about with the movie. I've read up on it and followed it enough online while bored at work. I already know what happens.

We saw a late night showing of the new Indiana Jones last night and there were only like 15 people in there with us to watch it. That's the way to go- plenty of space and legroom, enough distance between parties to not hear them eat their snacks or quietly comment to one having to squish knees together so people can squeeze by for pee breaks and no one periodically kicking the back of your chair. Perfect.

When we got out around 11:30, we saw the line of dozens of chicks waiting for the midnight premiere of Sex and the City wrapped around the facility- talking loudly and high pitched and all a-flutter, snazzily dressed up, many a designer totes in hand. Many of them had obviously been drinking (probably Cosmos I would imagine...whah whahhhhh...) and were laughing about two volumes too high. All in good fun, but....

~Shudder~ No thank you. It felt nice to keep walking. You couldn't pay me to wait in a line like that.

Now, The Dark Knight (next Batman installment!), however, is a different story. I will suck it up and wait in an absurdly long line to face the masses all day long to see that one.

Call me a nerd, call me a freak ("OmiGOD, what a weirdo" to the laywoman), but a yummy Christian Bale in one of the best dark super hero film series ever made is way more worth the hassle and fuss if you ask me. THAT'S something to get all in a flutter about. I will be more than happy to camp out with the 40 year-old virgins, overweight pimple-faced comic books freaks and males of all ages and stereotypes who will drag their girlfriends and wives to see THAT premiere.


To each his or her own.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sex and the City


I love Sex and the City. I think it would be safe to say that I could easily out SATC trivia pretty much every woman out there, because I've watched every episode of every season so many times that I have them all but memorized- and I'm not talking about the diluted, safely edited versions that TBS airs. I'm talking the gritty, R-rated HBO originals. I own them all and I value them like I do my favorite books.

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are very special ladies to me. When I was newly 21 years old, I had just moved out of my parents house to live by myself completely for the first time. I had returned to the "nest" for an 8 month stint to re-cooperate and collect my wits after surviving a year-long drug and alcohol binge/roller coaster ride of being completely irresponsible and immature living out on my own...being unemployed, broke, dropped out of college and suffered an emotionally devastating break up from a douche bag fraternity guy who had claimed to love me while at the same time cheating on me and lying about it for months.

After I had "healed" (for the most part...more just learned how to control myself enough to exist like a functioning adult without mom and dad's help), I had gotten a new full-time job managing a designer sunglass store and had rented a townhouse all to myself. I had sworn off men and was feeling very independent and strong and "together." Despite all of that though, there were still those moments of living alone as a single girl whose friends all had boyfriends, that life felt very lonely and empty.

I remember one night watching HBO (my one "indulgence expense" that I scraped by to keep for myself as a treat), and I was feeling particularly low. An episode of Sex and the City came on, and for the first time, I was intrigued. Although I had heard of the show before, I had never watched it.

That night, I watched the episode "They Shoot Single People, Don't They?" As soon as it was over, I put my shoes on and drove to Hastings to buy the entire second season on VHS. I didn't care how much it cost, I had to have it. I wanted to watch all of them immediately. I was off the next day at work, so I spent the entire next watching every episode of the season back to back...thus beginning the Sex and the City tradition I would continue until the day the last episode aired.

It's like the show was written for ME...and it was! For women like me of all ages. It was hilarious, touching, well-written, honest, raw, reflective, insightful and aimed specifically towards single, independent women. They were strong and confident, yet they still were vulnerable and flawed. It wasn't so much the "girl power" thing or the fashion...but more so the overall insightful nature of the show. It highlighted and focused on so many of the very things I was going through and had gone through that it spoke volumes about the universal experiences of being a female in this day and age.

I fell in love immediately.

I'm torn between feeling wary about a Sex and the City movie, and feeling excited to be "reunited" with the ladies. I would hate to watch anything that might soil the way that I feel about the characters and their story lines...I'm a pretty picky movie critic, especially when it comes to something I hold near and dear (i.e. Batman). I was concerned that since the actresses and characters are all older and aren't single anymore, the fun and wit wouldn't be there, therefore making the movie cheesy and void of any real entertaining substance.

Then I had to question if those concerns reflected something that I might be concerned with about my own existence. I too am older and and no longer single. I am no longer 21 and in the prime of my free woman status- I am married and pushing 30 now. Everything has changed. But I shouldn't go being concerned about life after younger single years being cheesy and void of any real entertaining substance. I should know better. It's all evolution.

Granted, this is a MOVIE we are talking about here versus real life- but any real fan of any show or movie gets truly attached to characters and their stories. They watch them grow and go through all of their b.s. and joys and upsets- you evolve with them.

If anything, there might just be an element about this movie that I will be able to appreciate more now that I am no longer single and no longer living a single chick's lifestyle.

Here's a good review by Entertainment Weekly (one of the only publications whose reviews I will take seriously- BURN YOUR GAZETTE movie review section. They don't konw squat).

Sex and the City.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


THIS article breaks my heart.

You know, when I was in college and taking classes such as Minorities in American Society, and Gender, Race and Class in American History, and others, I was amazed to find how many people failed to recognize that race issues still exist so predominately in this country. So many of them were either ignorant or in denial that race issues still exist in our society today. So many of them are either blind or indifferent or just don't grasp the reality of it because they are oblivious to the world around them.

They are too distracted and programmed by our public education system to really SEE anything. Even more gross was that so many of them started out indifferent about it and remained indifferent through the courses. And these were just people in my classes. I can't imagine how many of them are out there floating around in the masses nationally.

I think those people fail to recognize that, in our parents' lifetime, segregation still existed. In our parents' lifetime, interracial couples such as my mom and dad were not legally allowed to marry (miscegenation) up until 1967. That wasn't that long ago.

As Obama gets closer and closer to the Democratic nomination, I am hearing more and more people speculating that he will be assassinated if he gets elected President of the United States. More and more people are arguing that, although sad and unfortunate, that is just the reality of the way things are.

How much more eye-opening proof do we need that racism still exists and runs ramped in this country? In our day and age, a man who isn't even full-blooded African American- a man who is HALF WHITE- can get THIS close to the presidential seat and so many of our citizens are preparing for some redneck piece of shit to kill him?

There are still people in this country who only see the color of a person's skin and the "ethnicity" of their names and feel so threatened by those aspects of that person's existence that they choose to make assumptions and decisions and conclusions based on bigotry because they are lazy and hateful and uneducated.

Those people are idiot cowards who are no higher on the food chain than feral dogs with mange.

Oh yes, we've gotten BETTER...better at diluting our prejudices and sugar coating the ugly truth: this country is not as progressive as we give ourselves credit for. It's disgusting. It's embarrassing as a nation.

People still make their bigot jokes and brush them off as just being funny and get defensive if you say they are being racist or call them out for being jackasses. They're not racist, they say. "Lighten up," racism doesn't exist like it used to- it's 2008. Civil rights happened. Everyone is blended and that ship has sailed.

Obviously, "smiling prejudice" is coming to the surface as this election year continues to unfold and exposing so many people for who they really are.

If you speak your mind and go against the grain when some jerk off makes a black or "Mexican" or Asian joke (this goes for sexist and homophobic as well), you are told to lighten up and stop being uptight. Put a muzzle on calling out verbal vomit so that prejudice and bigotry can still simmer and stew under the smoke and mirrors. FUCK THAT. It makes me angry.

I think the people who fail to recognize that not only does racism still exist, but that it is more predominantly influential than anyone wants to admit, are just people who contribute to a disease that hovers under the radar. They keep it alive.

Racism isn't exposed and out in the open for everyone to see like it used to be- BUT IT IS STILL THERE. It is just so deeply embedded into some people's minds that it is just a normal way of thinking and they are literally incapable of recognizing the context of their own words and actions and prejudices.

It's all coming out now though.

Even if Obama doesn't get elected as president, I am thankful for him and his determination and the issues and HOPE that he truly has brought to the table. It's like he's unintentionally holding a big mirror up in front of this country, in regards to race, and saying, "LOOK at what we truly are. Look at where some of us have come from, and look at where some of us remain. Look at where we could go."

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A Decade Later, They're Still the Same

I went to my very special and favorite cousin John Michael's high school graduation for Norman North on Saturday morning- Norman North being my adolescent alma mater down South a ways. His being a part of the graduating class of 2008 marks the 10 year anniversary of my 1998 graduation.

It was weird sitting there in the Lloyd Noble Center watching a class of high school seniors go forthright with their rite of passage in the very same place that my friends and I escaped from 10 years prior to. I was skeptical to re-visit any remote element of my high school, but it did give me a new position to critique nonetheless. I see it as a useful form of research- as a fly on the wall observer- for future writing endeavors.

In all fairness, I learned that not only is high school still the same, but, despite being 10 years older, I myself am still the same in regards to my mindset on the subject. Is it immaturity or validation for an old way of thinking that I am realizing? Evolution? Proof that there are parts of people, that deep down within, that never leave high school? I'm a contradiction to myself, complaining that those people who annoyed me haven't changed, when I haven't really changed either. Go figure.

As for Norman North, the principal has changed, a rivalry has developed between North and Norman original (something which did not exist when my class graduated since ours was the first class to be split when North opened new our senior year), and the valedictorian at the ceremony displayed what I can only describe as "penis flexing" on behalf of his graduating class.

First of all, that valedictorian too scarily resembled Carrot Top. No joke. When he first appeared at the podium I swear I thought that Carrot Top had been invited as a guest speaker. Of course, it makes no sense that he would be at Midwestern high school graduation, but I wondered briefly if he was a native Oklahoman and I just never knew it. But alas, the kid was not Carrot Top.

He was just an overtly cocky, overachieving teacher's pet type. He was obviously the super-involved, quirky, popular studious guy with the red afro that was notorious in the school for his witticisms, teacher ass kissing and douchey sense of humor. "Oh he's so funny with his big red afro!" You know. THAT guy.

Basically, what his speech boiled down to was, "The class of 2008 is the best and most physically, intellectually, awesomely superior group of seniors to ever grace the halls of Norman North in the history of the universe and everyone else is dog shit in comparison." Literally. All school ego-puffing, to the extreme. No sugar coating. Blah blah blah. Not just school spirit, but EXTREME ultimate dominating school spirit. No humbleness, no modesty...just good old fashion school spirited arrogance.

Perhaps that's the staple message of every valedictorian's speech at high school commencement, I don't know. Maybe my class's valedictorian did the same, although who that person was and what they talked about I couldn't tell you. I was the asshole not paying an iota of attention, cracking jokes and giggling hysterically with the friend I was lucky enough to sit next to during the ceremony.

Do people actually care that much about their high school? Do they take it that seriously? Was it like that when I was in school? The whole idea of school spirit has always baffled me. I truly and honestly can say, I DON'T GET IT. I don't think it to be a matter of feeling "too cool for school," but rather a genuine lack of understanding of what the big deal is.

I always felt that there was so much more in the world and in life to get my panties in a wad about than my stupid high school and our football team. It all seemed so insignificant in the bigger picture then...and it still is now.

Graduation was definitely a big deal though, because it made it official that it WAS OVER. Fuck the nostalgia- BUH BYE. The nazi administration could get their rocks off by power tripping on the next senior class in their clutches.

Before the handing out of diplomas there was the seemingly endless sentimental yawn-tastic talking and reflecting, too many songs sung by the choir, and a slideshow that featured pictures of pretty much all of the same particular students over and over again.

We all know who THOSE kids were...they were clones of the same kids in every class, at every school all over the country for past decades on end. The obvious A-Lister "stars" of the school, with the occasional B-listers making the cut so that it wasn't AS shamelessly obvious who created the slideshow for the ceremony.

My brother and I counted how many times we saw the same group of girls poised together for various school events such as prom or fill-in-the-blank dress up day or whatever, and the same groups of guys doing the same. You could tell that they were the Pretty Popular Pod People by the reaction of the students. I would bet you a thousand dollars that they were pom and/or cheerleaders, football players, and other athletes and kids who believed that they ruled the school.

But that's just high school politics. It's nothing new and it never changes. No surprise.

ALL OF THAT ASIDE, I have to admit how proud I am of my John Michael for graduating. The best part of the ceremony, of course, was screaming bloody murder and scaring the crap out of the people sitting in front of us, when my brother, husband and I stood up to cheer for him, "We love you John! Whooop whooop!" You know you've made someone feel special when your voice is hoarse from a three second shout out.

He always tells me, during each of his rites of passages (driver's license, entering high school, first job, etc.) that he knows that he makes me feel old. And he does make me feel old, but not in a bad way.

I learn just as much from him as he does from me, considering I've been drilling my perspective into his head since the moment he learned to read. He called me the next day, as promised, to let me know that he was safe and had fun at his graduation parties. Then he proudly proclaimed to me that his class "partied harder than any other class at North."

Um, ok. I wasn't sure how to respond to that. So I said, "Um. Ok John. I think all classes always think that, but you go ahead and think that if you want."

I was quite excited and happy to see John Michael walk that stage and free himself from the chains of authority and stupid adolescent politics that is high school. I can't wait to see what he does with himself now that he is free to start living out of those constraints.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Cougar? Moi?

After announcing that today is Taylor's 27th birthday at work, I was promptly called a "cougar" by my male colleagues. Whatever, COUGAR.

He's only a year and a half younger than me- which SO does not put me into the cougar category. For five months out of each year, I am, by number only, 2 years older than him. I had forgotten until said cougar mentioning that up until today I am 28 and he was 26, and still, that age gap does not a cougar of me make.

I think it's funny though, the whole cougar thing (although totally getting played out). It's so interesting, our society's obsession with youth. Cougars have it way better than women had it back in the days of "The Graduate." There weren't Mrs. Robinsons available like there are these days.

Cosmetic surgery, present-day dressing younger than your age fashion leniency, America's laughable definition of "sanctity of marriage" and divorce rates, and popular media have created a whole new ball game for Cougar Power.

I think all cougars should thank Sex and the City's Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) for breathing new life and appreciation into the phenomena that is cougardom. Bravo!

Although an amusing concept, cougars honestly gross me out. They gross me out just as much as their male counterparts do ( the sleezy, mid-life crisis cradle robbing men with money...bleaugh). Samantha on Sex and the City is awesomely entertaining and hilarious, but she grosses me out too.

There's a difference between being a confident and sexually liberated woman and being just a flat out slutbag. Seriously. Soooo sad. In all fairness to women's lib- more power to them I guess- Go team Easy Street! But still. Yuck.

If you are ever curious to see cougars out in the wild running free and in action in the OK metro, hit up Russell's or Groovy's in OKC on a Friday or Saturday night.

It's hilarious to watch them work. It's as if there is a secret cougar handbook circulating out there to teach them the art of scoring their prey, because I've studied these womens' hunting techniques and they are alarmingly similar.

First of all, the strategy that they use is quite bold, aggressive, and definitely predatory. I suppose this is to give their targets a more clear "sure thing" vibe from the get go. They are too old to waste too much time being coy, because some younger piece of ass could saunter by and steal their limelight if they aren't careful.

Cougar BAIT, I've noticed, for the most part seem to be your more classic "stud-like" guys. You know, the guys who obviously work out and actually put significant thought and time into what they wear out on the town- think tight shirts, gelled hair, taking hard liquor to the dome. Sometimes it's beer, but from what I've observed, most of them prefer to kick it old school and go for the hard stuff like whiskey or scotch.

That's where the predatory part of a cougar's strategy comes into play: creep up on prey who is obviously at the bar to get wasted and is already noticeably lit...flirt...chain smoke...laugh at his douche bag jokes...pump him full of more drinks (perhaps even a shot or two with Red Bull in it in hopes of him fucking her like the Energizer Bunny later, should she get so lucky)...laugh at more douche bag jokes...preen his ego with compliments on his fine physique (touch bicep)...get him to the point where he's so drunk that her age lines get so blurry that the "intoxicated fountain of youth" kicks into his vision...then...when the moment is right...POUNCE!

(cue wicked roaring big cat scream, like lightening, but scarier)

Mama's got herself a nice kill of fresh meat(head). Poor guy didn't have a chance.

Cougar watching is one of the most fun kinds of people watching, if you should happen to stumble upon the right subject matter. It's kind of National Geographic-like.

When I do it I like to narrate the scenario in my head, adding a nice touch of a British accent to the mix.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I Do Not Endorse Mail Order Brides and Bulimia

You know when you go to a website, and there are a slew of Google ads running up and down the side of the page, and then if you should happen to click on one you are taken to a place where the information isn't really relevant and there are only links hosted to other sites or ads to get you to spend money?

That's called Google Adsense.

It's seems like a good idea for people who blog, because with Adsense, you supposedly get paid every time someone clicks on one of the Google ads you post on your blog page. The ads supplied by Google are supposed to be relevant to the subject matter of your blogs and they are "designed" to coincide with your site and visitors' interests, therefore drawing in $$$ revenue for you when readers click on them.

Unfortunately for me, the subject matter of my blogs are all over the radar, with, however, the exception of the fact that I bitch quite a bit and vent about random stuff. This makes it difficult to keep the ads relevant to anything work clicking on, therefore keeping most hope for extra change out of my pockets.

I scrolled down my blog today to investigate what kind of ads Google has been posting for me, and was amused to find ads for mail order brides and links to places to go to cope with hate and finding God. Of course since my blog title has the word CAT in it, there are also links for kitty litter and other feline related things.

I remember awhile back I had posted a letter to Taco Bell one day and the ads had changed to links for Eating Disorders and Coping with Bulimia.

It kind of freaks me out, those Google ads on my page. It makes me want to write some off the wall things to see what kind of ads will pop up next, just to mess with it. Oh how my imagination goes into overdrive just thinking about the possibilities.

Just so you people know, I do not endorse mail order brides or eating disorders, and for future reference, if there are more fucked up ads on my page- BLAME GOOGLE!

I wait for the day that the Internet gets so smart that it can understand metaphors (i.e. the cat metaphor and more effective Google Adsensing), but of course when and if that should happen, computers will be taking over the planet and we will all be goners anyways. So no rush.

On a side note, here is a daily dose of CUTE. This is how I feel when Taylor tries to take the remote control and change the channel when I am watching any one of my programs:

Mad Kitty

Monday, May 19, 2008

Balls and Humanity

A friend of mine at work was at Lake Hefner this weekend with his father to enjoy a day of sailing.

Upon taking a break and going back to the car to grab something, they found that the rear windshield had been shattered. On the car was a note from a woman with a name and phone number, and a message reading that she believed her golf ball to have hit the car and to call her to get things straightened out.

So my friend and his father (who is pushing 70 by the way) call this woman, telling her how noble and honest it was of her to leave her number and take responsibility like that. Not a lot of people would have done that and they were quite appreciative.

As my friend was telling me this story, I saw a flicker of hope that suggested that perhaps mankind isn't for the most part consisting of inconsiderate jack ass morons. Little tid bits like this make me sometimes pause to reconsider my lack of faith in humanity.

BUT. The story wasn't finished.

The woman who left the note suddenly decided that the more she thought about it, the more she came to believe that it couldn't have been her ball that shattered the window...and that even if it was, there was no proof that it was her ball that broke it, and she didn't have insurance nevermind.

She didn't have insurance, huh? So that's why she left her name and phone number for the owner of the car to call her to "straighten things out."

Revocation of responsibility, check. Good karma effectively demolished, check.

Backing out of a potential good deed THAT sounds more like what I would expect from people.

If I had been my friend or his father, I would have taken the opportunity to utilize the fact that I had this sketchy bitch's number in my hot little hand. Imagine all the fun you could have with that information. I'm thinking that some skeezy men's bathroom stalls across the metro are just BEGGING to house LOVES or the Red Dog.

"Call Jane Doe at #123-4567. She smacks balls so hard that your windows will crack."

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Return of Man Boy

My husband bought himself a PlayStation 3 last night, thus introducing the triumphant return of Man Boy. Man Boy has been on hiatus for the last few months, with T starting another business venture and running the show for our house renovation. It's hard to be Man Boy when Man Man duties call.

His 27th birthday is next week and I have a hard time every year figuring out what to do for him. Saying that, it is important to point out that T is impossible to shop for, not just because he is the most tediously selective price matching shopper on the planet, but also because, throughout the year, if he wants something he will go ahead and buy it for himself.

I asked him last night at dinner what he wanted for his birthday, and he mentioned the Sony PlayStation 3. BUT, he added, they are expensive so he didn't expect me to get it for him.

FINALLY- Mr. Impossible to Shop For had thrown me a bone.

I told him that since he has been doing so much for us with the house renovation and all, he deserves a fun toy like a new PlayStation. He hadn't gotten anything like that since I bought him a PlayStation 2 five years ago, so why not?

The moment I hinted that I was ok with it, his eyes lit up and he insisted that we go to Best Buy after we got done eating...just to price them out (as if he didn't know already). Naturally when we got there, and he saw the PlayStation in all of its shiny delicious newest-Sony-toy glory, his eyes went from lit up to glazed over with sheer delirious delight.

It was as if we had just stumbled upon the Holy Grail. I almost expected him to kneel before it and hail it "Excalibur."

He was ready to buy it right then and there, but I asked him to please hold off just three more days so I could get it for him for his birthday.

"Won't it be more fun if I wrap it up? Like when you're a kid and you have to wait, then you can unwrap it and it will be that much more exciting?"

"But I want to play with it NOW." (said wistfully, with both eyes glued to the PlayStation in the glass case)

"I KNOW! I'm not saying you won't get to have one, just wait a couple of days so I can get it for you! Jeez."

"But Babe, it's for BOTH of us. It has a DVD player and we can check the Internet on it and it has Blue Ray..."

He had regressed into the mindset of a kid trying to sell his parent on buying him a new toy. I'm familiar with this approach. I've been working this angle to get what I want since I started talking, and I STILL use it. I'm the master at it. I do it to him all the time and I think he has caught on to my sales technique.

Very good, young Padawan.

So we go around and around, but his blinders were on for good. He couldn't understand that he was still going to get it, but that he needed to WAIT until his actual birthday so I COULD BUY IT FOR HIM SO IT WOULD BE FROM ME!

The impatient Man Boy itch for instant toy gratification had taken him over and he was a lost cause. I got him so far as OUT of the Best Buy, but as soon as we got home he immediately hopped online to price surf, finding it at Sam's and Wal-Mart.

"They have it at Sam's for the same price BUT you get a free Spiderman on Blue Ray DVD if you get it there."

Suddenly T was interested in owning Spiderman on DVD. I had dragged him to all three of those movies in the theater and, after each one, he had acted indifferent and had told me that he didn't think that they were all that great. Now he needed to own one.

~SIGH~ I wasn't going to hear the end of it. I told him that he should just go buy it already if he wanted it that bad. I think he just might have left little puffs of smoke under his heels, he was out the door so fast.

About an hour later he came home glowing and proudly dumped the box onto the bed. He did a little happy dance once he got it out of the box (calling it, I quote, "beautiful") and anxiously hooked his new "pet" up to the t.v. in our room.

We watched JUNO (I told him he had to rent it and watch it with me if he was going to buy that PlayStation), and afterwards, as I settled in to turn in for the night, I went to sleep to the sound of a Tiger Woods video game.

It makes me happy to see Man Boy happy and giddy like that, although now I am back in the boat where I have no idea what to get the guy who gets himself whatever he wants. I told him last night that I would get him some video games at least, to go with the PlayStation. That was something that I could get him that he would like.

Then this morning at work he calls me and tells me that he has already ordered his games off of Ebay because he got a good deal on them.

DAMN IT! His solution to my problem is suggesting that I buy him a couple of Hibiscus plants that he likes to put in planters on the back patio.

I am including this last detail of sharing his semi-feminine passion for Hibiscus flowers as revenge for making his birthday present shopping NO FUN for me this year.

Muah ah ahhhh.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Screw You Slowed Down Metabolism

One of the part-time guys in my office also works for Krispy Kreme donuts. I can't tell if he's an angel or the devil for bringing his weekly donut pilgrimages into the break room.

His generosity reminds me that I no longer have my 21 year-old metabolism, and that pushing 30 means that I have to learn this thing called "self-control" in the eating department.

I've never had to watch what I eat and I have discovered how much it absolutely SUCKS to have to watch what I eat for the sake of not letting myself balloon out of my pants. This to me means that in this aspect of my life, I am no longer able to have my cake and eat it too. Grrrr.

Of course, I could always exercise to keep my metabolism up, but exercise and I have long battled our love/hate relationship and I'm not sure I'm ready to surrender to the exercise gods just yet. I mean, I'm obviously going to have to at some point in order to keep myself at a reasonable size, but damn it if I'm not going to wait until it's absolutely necessary.

Vanity is a bitch. I wish I didn't care, but I can't deny the fact that I prefer to have reasonably small figure and I'm terrified of getting fat. I long for the days where I could eat like a horse and not have to lift a finger to maintain my weight.

Those days left me around my 26th birthday.

Why oh WHY is it not feasible to burn calories just from using my brain? My mind could burn the kind of calories that a devoted runner burns with all of the contemplating and talking to myself in my head that I do all day.

Or what about typing? I type all freaking day. That should constitute some sort of effective amount of calorie burning. The mental gears I grind all day should be sufficient enough to keep my metabolism up.

In a perfect world, it would be. But alas, this is far from a perfect world. And in this imperfect son of a bitch of a world I'm going to have to work up the motivation to kick my ass into gear and start exercising again soon. Since I'm feeling especially whiny today, it just doesn't seem fair to me that I can exert all of the energy that I do in other outlets and NOT burn enough calories to keep my metabolism up.

Ugh. I'm just not motivated and devoted to doing physical activity. I never have been. I've always rather have sat in a corner with a good book or be creating something than be out running around. I prefer to expel my energy in other ways. Even as a kid, with my half dozen cousins at my grandmother's house out running around in the country getting dirty and playing, I would be on the sidelines reading or people watching or sunning myself like a cat.

I wish that excitement for physical exercise was contagious and some overtly active person would come sneeze in my face.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Potty Talk

You know how, if you work in a building where you are forced to use the public bathroom in your corner of the institution, you find yourself bumping into some of the same people who share your "pee schedule?"

I'm thinking, usually after you have been at work for an hour or so, after your coffee kicks in and makes itself at home in your system, you naturally find yourself on a somewhat consistently timed pee schedule- therefore excusing yourself to go to the restroom around the same times every day. Of course, other people existing in your little daily grind ecosystem from throughout the general area of the building will experience the same, and it is inevitable that your schedules will coincide from time to time.

Enter...the "pee buddy."

I'm not one for small talk in the bathroom with strangers- I try not to acknowledge strangers in the restroom with anything more than an inadvertent polite nod or holding the door open for them if eye contact should be made or the situation calls for it.

Honestly, I hate having pee buddies. I find it to be very awkward. It's not like it wouldn't be weird to introduce yourself and establish some kind of off-the-wall camaraderie with one another after two or more encounters, unless something came up to force you to cross the stranger boundary (such as an emergency tampon request, which I have done before. That equals instant friends for life).

It's so quiet in small public restrooms. It's especially stale when you and your pee buddy find yourself going in one right after the other and no one else is in there. All of the timing is so in sync that simultaneous fly unzipping and pin drop silence being broken by pee streams are both almost too funny and unnerving for me to handle.

Then there's the unintentional pee race. Who's going to finish first? This is one situation where I personally don't care to win. In fact, I try to time it to where, unless they are obviously camping out in there, I finish last so we don't leave the stalls at the same time. This way they are already finished and have washed their hands and left by the time I need to emerge to wash my hands and check the mirror. I prefer to do the mirror check when no one else is around. I'm sure most of you would agree.

Also, what is one supposed to do exactly when confronted with a pee schedule "buddy" outside of the bathroom? I was put in the awkward situation of going to Payroll one day not long ago, only to find a former pee buddy of mine working the front desk.

Shit. Of course you don't verbally recognize this fact, you instead just do the odd, "knowing" tight-lipped sheepish smile thing and pretend like you've never seen one another in your life.

This particular pee buddy had farted one day when we were in there (very explosively too I might add, not just a frog ribbit) and all I could think about when she was explaining to me how my contract writing would be reflected on my paycheck was the fact that I had one time heard her rip one with reckless abandon.

It was AWFUL. The whole situation was AWFUL. I was mortified for both of us and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I never saw her in that bathroom again. I think she started using the one downstairs and I am thankful for that.

Since women always seem to want to flock to bathrooms with their girlfriends for social time in their out of work lives, why is it so difficult to make friendly with unfamiliar women who all but become your surrogate bathroom girlfriends in the workplace?

Maybe I'm just really unfriendly and the reality is really that most women out there have no problem with making small talk in the bathroom with Jill Jane Jones from down the hall. I'm imagining your more bubbly sorority girl types have the gift up gab that stretches all the way into the loo.

Not I.

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