Fear
As silly as this may sound, I faced one of my big phobias today= FLU SHOT.
I finally got my very first flu shot, something I try to talk myself into doing every year, but never build up the courage to go through with...and so, every year, I get sick as hell and want to die for about two weeks. I figured this year though, since it was being offered in the Administration building where I work, it would be a waste to avoid it since it was just downstairs.
It didn't hurt, but I still feel irked by it. The thought of having what I consider to be "alien" substances injected into my body freaks me the fuck out....
It's not out of fear of the pain of a shot (although I HATE needles), it's more the idea that I have foreign shit flowing through my veins and throughout my body that freaks me out...
Reading the consent form didn't help, ("You shouldn't get the flu shot if you have allergic reactions to the flu shot..." I've never had one! How do I know if I am allergic????!!!).
I spent the first hour afterwards terrified that at any moment I was going to go into cardiac arrest or break out in hives or have a panic attack...but I am OK....I think. I'm trying not to think about what was in the syringe that nurse poked me with. If I think about it too much I might just vomit right here at my desk. :(
My best friend assured me that I have voluntarily welcomed things into my system over the years that make the flu shot look like a kiss from the Sugar Plum fairy so I shouldn't really be worried about too much.
Good point.
My other big phobia, ELEVATORS (shudder), is starting to subside...after so many trips to Vegas and taking the dreaded box hanging by a cord up so many floors to rooms/clubs- I am getting better with that. It helps that I am usually too inebriated to notice that I am even in an elevator in Vegas, but still...my idea of eternal damnation is being trapped inside of an elevator getting poked with needles while a Starbucks Christmas compilation c.d. plays on repeat...
