Bliss
October really has been a great month for me~ maybe it's because I'm a hot natured person and the cooling temperatures help keep my blood from boiling so quickly (and so intensely!). Maybe I'm moving slower now and I'm not as quick to react- maybe, maybe.
Not sure, but for whatever reason, I find myself serene and at peace and happy...the happiest I've ever been in my whole life really and it's a billion times better than any drug I've ever played with:)
What a relief to reach a point in life where I can live in a constant state of the natural high I feel like I've been seeking for so many so many years- and it trumps the desire to seek other outlets. Other outlets these days just seem to distract me from what's really going on, and I no longer wish to escape anything...because reality is so much better.
I've come to terms with some issues I have been struggling with recently- the adjusting, the revelations, the complications, the doubt, the feelings of exclusion, the fear, the anxiety, the hurdles the hoops and the bullshit...
Accepting my reality instead of trying to cling to a past life which no longer exists is so liberating...letting go is hard, but in the big picture it's necessary in order to evolve and grow.
The things that matter in my life have switched gears- the everlasting and tried and true don't necessarily have to be discarded, I have learned, but priorities shift and change shapes and things that used to irk me have ceased to waste my time anymore. It's nice.
Priorities and options~ there's a quote that coincides with those two things and it really goes without saying that the two dance awkwardly with one another and fight for first place, but in the end it all becomes clear when the tables are turned...and true colors which remain evident become faded and less significant and I no longer give a shit.
Even the strongest rocks and boulders can crumble, but it isn't the end of them- they become part of the Earth and are reborn into the very soil that breeds new life...and trees people have leaned on for years can wither away and lose their bark, but it all is just recycled into something newer and better and stronger in the long run.
