Monday, May 12, 2008

Workin' the Pole

When did pole dancing become classy? Did I not get the memo? Well, if there was indeed a memo, then I spit on that memo and die laughing at the idea. Then I abruptly stop laughing and realize that I grow even more fearful of having daughters in a day and age where society is all but advertising prostitution as a classy career choice.

I saw a commercial on t.v. the other day for some place in Oklahoma City called "A Touch of Class" or something like that, and it is a place in NW OKC for groups of girlfriends to- yay!- go get schooled on the "art" of pole aerobics. They advertise a great place to have brunch and get in the know of all things etiquette by giving lessons on how to work the pole. CLASSY.

I can't imagine a place like that serving up crustless cucumber sandwiches and tea of yester-year's afternoon brunches, where ladies wore funny hats and white gloves.

I'm thinking speedway beer and greasy chicken wings. That kind of meal just screams brunch after a long afternoon of working the pole.

I can't figure out when it became anything but trashy and sad to be a stripper. I can't figure out when that line between objectifyingly whore-like and alluringly sexy got demolished.

Not to say that I don't have a sense of humor about it- I think it would be hilarious to goof around and mock it- but I think the overall idea is dangerous to actually MARKET commercially because it gives the general dimwitted collective brain of the American female population the idea that it is CLASSY and fun to master the ability to man-handle a stripper pole.

The strip club is a pathetic place where men go to get their rocks off by paying women peanuts to give them blue balls and physically beg for chump change. Sure those chicks make ridiculous amounts of $$$, but what do they sacrifice?

As if parents don't have enough to be worried about these days- with their 7 year-old daughters wanting BRATZ dolls fashioned in street walking hoochie mama clothing and their high schoolers wanting breast implants for graduation presents.

Now they can anticipate more of them getting "professionally" trained in droves to pursue an easy money profession by stripping and be convinced that the best and most affective way to land the affection and attention of Mr. Right is with clear heels, Rob Zombie and a pole.

Obviously there are plenty of females out there who understand that those kinds of "classes" are all in good fun, but there are some seriously stupid bitches out there who see retards like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears putting it on a pedestal and will jump at the chance to emulate them for all the wrong reasons.

There are too many easily molded female minds out there who will be brainwashed (even more so than media and film already have brainwashed them) into believing that exploiting their bodies in that manner is a good way to get attention from men.

Oh yes, attention they will definitely grab. But respect is a whole different game, and no respectable man wants to go the long haul with a stripper, or any chick who too closely resembles one.

It is disheartening to me to see people profiting off of making women lazy and uncreative in the sexual appeal department. There are so many other ways to be sexy without being so obvious.

What's next? "Girls Gone Wild 101: How to Make Sure YOU Wind up on the Next Spring Break Installment!" ?

Seriously. I think we're headed in that direction.

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